


The Most Wonderful Time

by stellarose



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Ava Sharpe, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, Coming Out, Dysfunctional Family, F/F, Family Dynamics, Insecure Ava Sharpe, Legends of Tomorrow Team are Family, festive fluff, happiest season
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:48:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27854562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellarose/pseuds/stellarose
Summary: Ava takes her beloved girlfriend Sara to stay with her family for Christmas. The only issue is that Ava isn't out to them yet, and isn't sure if she's ready to be.Happiest Season Avalance Alternate Universe!
Relationships: Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Comments: 145
Kudos: 314





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In a world where half the Legends are literally related, and their weird family dynamics don't make a great environment for coming out in, you get closeted Ava Sharpe bringing her (secret) girlfriend home for Christmas. This fic will follow the basic structure of "Happiest Season", but there will also be quite a few changes, as these are the Legends we're dealing with, so adjustments are needed to make their characters fit into their given roles.
> 
> Amaya and Charlie are two completely different people here. Sara and Charlie work at the university, they're not students. That will be explained more in later chapters.
> 
> Kudos and comments are much appreciated, but please no hot takes about the film :)

Ava woke to the unmistakable smell of frying butter. She could hear the sizzle of something cooking and what she was sure was Christmas songs. She rolled over, noting that Sara’s side of the bed was getting cold and sat up to check the time. Almost quarter past nine. They’d had a fairly big Saturday night at Ava’s workplace Christmas function the night before, and now the happy, though somewhat confusing memories, of the night were coming back to her. She found a pair of thick, warm socks to wear, her slippers which had were half-hidden under the bed, and pulled on her dressing gown before heading downstairs to the kitchen of their small townhouse to find out what Sara was up to.

“Morning, babe,” Ava said, entering the kitchen, smiling at the scene. Sara had turned on the lights on the Christmas tree, as well as those around the window looking out onto the street. The multi-coloured lights shining never failed to raise Ava’s spirits, no matter how high they already were.

“Morning,” Sara smiled. “I’d apologise for waking you, but I’m not sorry. Ready for a pancake?”

“Definitely,” Ava said, pouring herself a cup of coffee and settled at the kitchen island bench while Sara served her a pancake.

“I’ve already have two,” Sara said. “The first one was a bit mangled, but the second one was fine. Here you go,” she said, sliding the plate in front of Ava. “Jam? Cream? Ice-cream? Nutella? Lemon and sugar?”

“Jam and cream?” Ava suggested, wondering what this was all about.

Sara grabbed the condiments and gave them to Ava to apply them herself, while Sara set about making another pancake. Sara’s repertoire in the kitchen was fairly limited, but the few recipes, her thin, French-style pancakes included, were excellent. They didn’t often have time for such an elaborate breakfast, but Ava always appreciated the pancakes when they did.

“You feeling festive today, babe?” Ava asked between mouthfuls of pancake, as Sara generally tried to avoid the season as best she could.

“Well, I know you love the holidays…”

“Hey, Sara,” Ava said apprehensively, “I know I asked last night if you’d like to come to my family home for Christmas, but if you really don’t want…”

“No, no, I do,” Sara said cutting Ava off and looking up from the fry pan with a smile. “I want to meet them. You flew across the country to Star City to meet my dad at Thanksgiving, and, well… I want to do this. I want to meet them. And I - I wouldn’t mind trying to like Christmas again.”

For the past five years since the tragic death of her sister, even though it hadn’t been at this time of year, Sara hadn’t been able to bring herself to celebrate the season. Laurel had loved Christmas and everything to do with it, and had always made sure that Sara was extra spoilt, as her birthday fell on Christmas Day. Since moving to the East Coast after Laurel’s death, Sara had avoided Christmas as best she could, but when Ava had asked her to go her family home with her last night, Sara couldn’t find it within herself to refuse.

Ava finished the last of her pancake, slid off her chair and went around the bench to wrap her arms around Sara’s waist. “Thank-you. I’m really looking forward to this.”

“Me too,” Sara smiled and flipped the pancake.“You ready for another one? This is just about cooked.”

“Let me get my plate,” Ava said, giving Sara a kiss on the side of the neck before letting go of her waist and grabbing her plate. “I’ll have to thank you properly for this later on, Ms Lance.”

“I didn’t do this for the praise, but I’m looking forward to it already, Ms Sharpe,” Sara smirked.

…

“I don’t know why you’re dragging me into town when we have a perfectly good park opposite the university to go walking in,” Charlie complained as Sara set a brisk pace up the slight hill towards the shops.

Sara looked at Charlie with a mischievous smile. “Just a change of scenery.”

“You’re gunna have a change of scenery for almost a whole week heading to wherever Ava’s folks live upstate. That’ll be something, yeah? Meeting all the Sharpes and associated hangers-on.”

“I really want to do this,” Sara said. “I met her cousin Nate very briefly back in February, but I don’t think he realised we were together. Now the timing feels right. She met my dad at Thanksgiving, she’s spoken to mom several times with me on FaceTime, and well, this - this is good. It’s a good step. Plus Ava loves Christmas, and there’s always lots happening, so I can always volunteer to help with the dishes or something when the conversation gets awkward or I find myself stuck with the token uber-conservative uncle or aunt. We’re crossing here,” Sara said, stopping and pressing the button at the lights.

“Wow, you’ve really thought all this out,” Charlie said while they waited for the lights to change.

“Sure have. What are you going to do?” Sara asked.

Charlie shrugged. “Guess me and Z will have a pretty quiet one,” she said. “The rest of the band are decamping back to the UK for a couple of weeks, and the university shuts down for a few days. I think Zari has theatre tickets for us on the 23rd, as twice I’ve suggested something on that night and she’s been a bit funny about it, and I know she’s been wanting to see _Come From Away_ , so that’ll be fun. My only other family over here is my cousin Dion in Texas, and most of my family back home I don’t talk to, so… well, it’ll be all right. I’ll make us a nice lunch. How hard can it be to roast something?”

Sara laughed as they crossed the street. “I guess that’s what YouTube is for.”

“Exactly,” Charlie said, “That’s what I said to Z when she doubted my cooking skills. Just because she can make the best Iftar food around doesn’t mean I can’t match her with a classic roast. Between Nigella, Mary Berry, Gordon Ramsey and Jamie Oliver, surely someone can teach me what to do.”

“Hopefully. In here,” Sara said, opening the door to a jeweller’s store.

“Right. Why are we here?” Charlie asked, stepping inside and unbuttoning her coat in the warmth of the store.

“Good afternoon, ma’am,” said the shop assistance. “How may I help you?”

“Here to collect an order for Sara Lance,” Sara said, suddenly unsure as to what to do with her hands.

“Of course, one moment,” the woman said and disappeared.

“An order?” Charlie asked, raising her eyebrows. “That’s getting fancy for Christmas.”

Sara smiled and the woman returned with a small box.

“Here it is,” the woman said, opening the box.

“Bloody hell,” Charlie breathed.

Sara grinned. “It’s gorgeous.”

“You’re gunna…?”

“Yep,” Sara said as the woman carefully closed the box and prepared the paperwork.

Five minutes later having finished in the jeweller’s, Sara and Charlie were heading back towards the university, the ring carefully tucked into the inside pocket of Sara’s coat.

“So you’re really gunna ask her to marry you?” Charlie asked for the third time.

“Yes,” Sara said, unable to stop smiling. “I love her, and I want the whole world to know. Ava’s fairly traditional, and we have spoken about this and I want to ask her on Christmas morning when we wake up. Just the two of us, in her room, then she can go downstairs and show her parents while they opens their stockings or whatever they do.”

“Damn, you really got this all planned out?”

“Yep,” Sara nodded. She wasn’t much of a romantic, but she could easily imagine Laurel encouraging her in this case and that gave her the confidence that this was the right thing to do.

“It is a nice ring,” Charlie said. “Wait, don’t tell me you’re gunna ask her dad for permission?”

“What? No….”

“Oh my gosh! You are! Sara Lance, you are a terrible liar. Way to stick it to the patriarchy.”

Sara laughed and gave Charlie a playful shove. “Wanna be my maid of honour?”

“Can I be your best-maid? Then I can wear a suit.”

“Whatever you want,” Sara chuckled.

…

“Babe, I can see what you’re doing,” Ava said she she drove along the motorway, briefly glancing at Sara.

“I’m doing nothing,” Sara said, sneaking another snickerdoodle from the Tupperware.

Ava couldn’t help but laugh. She had been baking the cookies the previous evening and intended to give them to her parents, however Sara was using them as a snack during the journey. “I made those for the family, Sara! Next time, I am packing you your own snacks like you’re a toddler. I like my mom to think I have some domestic skills.”

“Ava, you are meticulous at cleaning,” Sara said, munching on the cookie. “Not to mention other bedroom-based domestic skills,” she said with a smirk.

Ava paused her lips and gripped the steering wheel a little tighter.

“What?” Sara asked, stuffing the rest of the cookie in her mouth.

“We need to talk about that.”

“Oh, don’t worry, no innuendoes once we get there. I’m good with parents, I promise.”

“No, I mean - about my parents…”

“Yeah?” Sara asked, wiping her chin with her sleeve to remove the crumbs.

“Umm, they don’t know…”

“That I’m coming?”

“Oh, no, they know that you’re coming. That - that’s fine. I - I, umm, I think you heard me on the phone to mom the other day talking about it.”

“I did,” Sara said. “So, what’s the issue?”

“They don’t know about…” Ava swallowed. “Remember how I went home for a few days in the summer? And I said I was going to come out to them?”

“You said it went well. A little awkward on your part, but they took it fine. Did they not take it so fine?” Sara asked.

“Not exactly,” Ava said, keeping her eyes fixed on the road. “I might not have actually told them at all.”

Sara was glad she had finished eating otherwise she probably would have choked. “Wait, what? So - wait, who do they think I am?”

“My roommate?” Ava said. “I - it’s common in my family to bring home other people. ‘Strays’ as my mom calls them. Since college, we’ve been joined by Nate’s Jewish buddy Ray at Christmas, and for the last few years Ray’s girlfriend, now wife, Nora, and this year their baby too. Gary’s friend Mona often joins us, as her family is all in Hawaii, so if she’s not going home for the holidays, or her folks aren’t over here, then she’s around too.”

“So where do your parents think you went for Thanksgiving?” Sara asked, remembering a particularly eventful night with Ava in the spare bedroom of her dad’s apartment, grateful that his bedroom was on the other side of the kitchen, living, and dining rooms.

“They - uh, they think I was there for a work conference, and of course you were there visiting your dad, and because of the timing and how expensive flights are at the holidays, umm…” Ava pulled over and turned off the engine, suddenly finding it hard to breath. “I’m so sorry, Sara. I - I’m so sorry. I’ve screwed this up and we haven’t even got there yet. We - we should turn around. We can go back to Metropolis. I’ll call my mom and say we had issues with the car and…”

“No, stop,” Sara said, trying to make sense of everything Ava was telling her. “We’re not going back. Were you going to tell them? About us? Does any of your family know?”

Ava sighed and rested her head against the steering wheel. “I want to. I really did plan to do it July, but then my cousin Jessica Green, well, she has a different surname now but I can’t pronounce it, it’s long and French, she’s the one who works for the UN in Geneva, she went into labor with her perfect baby and all anyone could think about was when someone would next get an update message from Sebastien and… I want them to know, Sara. You’re my family too.”

Sara could see Ava was hurting. She reached across and placed her hand on Ava’s thigh. “So what do we do? If this is such an issue, why did you even ask me?”

“Because I love you and I want you to be with me on Christmas, babe,” Ava said. “I want you to meet everyone. I - I’m sorry. I hate having to lie but I don’t… I will come out to them, just I - I can’t rush it.”

Sara sighed. “Do they know that I’m bi?”

“I don’t know if my parents think that’s a real thing,” Ava mumbled, gritting her teeth.

“Do they know my birthday is Christmas Day?”

“Yes.”

“And about Laurel?”

“Yes.”

Sara took a deep breath. “Ok.”

“Ok?” Ava asked shyly.

“It’s only a few days, right? And we’re already most of the way there.”

“You can eat the rest of the cookies,” Ava said sheepishly.

Sara couldn’t help but laugh. “I just might. But Ava, if this is what you need, then… ok. But we have to talk about this later because I - this isn’t fair on either of us.”

“I know. I’m so sorry. I should have - ”

“Hey,” Sara said, grabbing Ava’s hand and forcing Ava to look at her, unable to stop thinking about the box with the ring in it hidden away in her luggage, and how nice that ring would look on Ava’s long fingers. “I will admit that this is not ideal, but I love you more than I dislike this situation, so… just - let’s go pretend we’re some old-timey people who live with their ‘best friends’ in their Boston Marriage and everyone pretends they don’t know what’s really going on, ok?”

Ava nodded. “I really think my family don’t know what’s going on, but…gosh I love you. I love you so much.”

“What’s Christmastime for if not peace and goodwill towards our fellow humans, especially those we love most?” Sara said, trying to sound sincere and letting go of Ava’s hands, reaching for the container now partially full of snickerdoodles and popping off the lid. “Drive on, babe, and let’s see what happens first, we arrive at your parent’s place, or I eat all these cookies.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone so much for the kudos and comments on the first chapter :) If you haven't seen the film, you don't need to in order for the story to make sense, and there won't be many major spoilers. If you have seen the film, there will be a number of changes especially as the story goes on. Hopefully you'll like them :)

“Ok, so you think you know who’s who?” Ava asked as they neared her family home, trying as best as possible to stay calm about the whole situation. She felt guilty about not telling her family who Sara really was, guilty for forcing Sara to lie and not having been honest with her, and worried that Sara and her family wouldn’t get along, thus causing further issues and adding to Ava’s anxiety.

“Without actually having met them, I think I’ve got it all figured out,” Sara said, having heard plenty of stories about Ava’s extended family. Even though the circumstances of her meeting them were now different from what she expected, Sara knew it was important for this to go well to smooth things over for Ava’s eventual coming out. “Your mom, Hank Heywood and Marion Green are all siblings and more or less live in one another’s back yards. Bettie is their mom, and your grandma, though you call Grandma Violet ‘grandma’ too, even though she’s not actually related to you. Nate, Jessica and Gary are your cousins, but Jessica lives in Switzerland. I’m not really your girlfriend and - ”

“You are my girlfriend,” Ava said, cutting Sara off in a panic.

“I’m teasing,” Sara said with a small smile. “You are my love, and I will figure out who’s who once I meet them.”

Ava nodded. “Well, here we are,” she said as she turned into the driveway.

“Oh damn,” Sara breathed, seeing for the first time the house and garden decorated with thousands of Christmas lights. “Ava, your house is about the size of our whole city block.”

“It’s not that big,” Ava said, hoping Sara was prepared for this. “It’s five bedrooms, and…”

“You’re an only child.”

“And the house is going to be full over the holidays,” Ava said, pulling up in front of the garage. “Uh, I - umm…”

“Hey, it will be fine,” Sara said, opening the door and brushing the cookie crumbs off her lap.

“Sorry, again,” Ava said, looking guilty.

“Let’s go meet the troops,” Sara said, leaning over to give Ava’s hand a quick squeeze before getting out of the car.

A couple of minutes later, Sara was standing in the huge double-height foyer, her and Ava’s suitcases resting against the wall, while Pamela fussed over Ava after being introduced to Sara and very gratefully receiving Sara’s comments about the house looking like something out of a magazine.

“So, mom, is dad - ”

“Ho ho ho! Hi aunty Pam!”

“Nathaniel, darling! Oh, what a lovely surprise,” Pamela said as Nate entered, quickly closing the door as a freezing gust of wind blew in behind him. “Randy! Ava and Nathaniel are here! And Ava’s little friend! Where is that man?”

“Mom sent me over with these,” Nate said, handing Pamela a shopping bag. “Ava Sharpe!”

“Nate Heywood,” Ava said with a grin, giving Nate a hug.

“And you look familiar,” Nate said, turning at Sara.

“I think we were very briefly introduced earlier in the year,” Sara said. “I’m Sara, Ava’s - friend. Roommate. From Star City. Originally, obviously not anymore.”

“Great to meet you properly,” Nate said, giving Sara an unexpected hug. “You’re the one who knows the Queens, right?”

“Sure do,” Sara said.

“Ok, kids, it’s not long until we’re going out for dinner. Nathaniel, thank your mother for the groceries. Even when you make a list, you always forget something, especially when hosting a big event. I am sure over the next few days I’ll need more than one more trip to the store!”

“I’ll let her know,” said Nate. “Guess I better head back and freshen up. We got to mom and dad’s an hour or so ago. The kids were whinging so Amaya’s giving them an early bath so they’ll be all set for bed before we go out later on.”

“Sara and I will - ”

“Surprise!” Gary said, jumping out into the foyer and flinging his arms around Ava, giving her a fright.

“Dammit, Gary!” Ava said, giving him a tentative hug. “I’ve asked you not to do that!”

“And I didn’t listen,” Gary grinned, pushing his glasses back up his nose.

“Why are you here?” Ava asked.

“He was helping your father with the printer,” Pamela said. “Is Randy still in his study?”

“Right here, Pammy,” Randy said, walking down the hallway. “Ava, baby! So good to see you!”

“Hi, dad,” Ava said, giving her father a hug. “Good to see you too.”

“The drive was ok? Not too icy on the road?”

“All good. Dad, this is Sara Lance, my roommate.”

“Lovely to meet you, Sara,” Randy said, shaking Sara’s hand. “What time were we leaving, Pam? Have I got time to - ”

“No, darling I think you should start getting ready.”

“I’ll show Sara to our room. Rooms,” Ava quickly corrected. “Her room. We - we’ll go upstairs.”

“Oh, of course, Ava darling. Gary, honey, have you met Ava’s little friend Sara? This is Sara. Her sister died.”

Ava cringed and grabbed her suitcase.

“You are so brave,” Gary said, pulling Sara into another unexpected hug. “I couldn’t imagine if anything happened to Jessica.”

“Uh huh,” Sara said, letting go as soon as she could and grabbing her bag.

“I’m going to head off,” Nate said. “See you all shortly.”

“Oh, yes, see you soon, Nathaniel,” Pamela said. “Gary, honey, I think the dishwasher has probably finished. Remember to use the special cloth to wipe any wet spots on the glasses.”

“Yes aunty Pam!” Gary said, almost skipping off to the kitchen.

Sara followed Ava and Pamela upstairs, Pamela pointing out various knick-knacks and talking about the house, despite Sara being more interested in all the photos of Ava at various ages.

“In there is the master suite. This room here is the third-largest, so that’s where the Palmers will be staying. Did I tell you they’re staying here? The Heywood’s house is full with Nate and Amaya and the children, plus Dorothy’s assorted relations who are arriving tomorrow, so the Palmers will be staying here. Dorothy said that Nathaniel said that Raymond and Nora will be bringing their own port-a-cot for Daniel. Dorothy has offered the cot that they have as Marie is too big for a cot now, but - ”

“Hey, mom, mind if Sara and I put our bags down?” Ava asked.

“Oh, of course, darling,” Pamela said. “So, that door there is Ava’s room. Sara, honey, we’ll leave Ava too it. You come with me. Your room is down here. Lovely views of the garden, though of course you can’t see much at the moment because it’s dark already! The frosty mornings have been beautiful, don’t you agree?”

“Yep,” said Sara, glancing back and catching Ava’s eye as Ava mouthed ‘sorry’ for the dozenth time. Sara almost laughed when Pamela opened the door to the small room she would be staying in, especially given the size of the house and the room reserved for the Palmers. There was only just room for the double-bed, bedside tables and a small closet.

“The ensuite bathroom is around here,” Pamela said, opening a narrow door to a bathroom that was about as big as the bedroom, which seemed almost comical.

“Thanks,” Sara said. “I guess I’ll unpack a couple of things.”

“Of course, honey,” Pamela said. “Oh, my! Look at the time! Randal! We are leaving in forty-five minutes!”

Pamela left Sara in the bedroom. Sara sat down on the bed and laughed at the craziness of the situation, picking up her phone and messaging Ava. 

**Sara:** Where are we going in 45 minutes?

**Ava:** Dinner? I think? I’ll have to get an itinerary for the next few days off mom, because I’m sure she has everything organised down to the minute.

**Ava:** And I’m sorry about my mom. She can be a lot.

**Sara:** Babe, stop apologising, everything is fine. Nate seems cool. Now come help me find something to wear 😉

…

An hour later, Sara and Ava were in the back seat of the family car as Randy drove to the restaurant in town.

“Do you have a boyfriend, Sara?” Pamela asked, as conversation about the weather subsided.

“I - um, uh,” Sara looked at Ava in the darkness and slid her hand across the empty middle seat. “Nope. No boyfriend. Not since I’ve moved to the East Coast. Even then, before I moved, for a bit I - I have had a boyfriend. Boyfriends. One kinda main one. He’s married now. To another woman, obviously, not to me. She’s great though. Really great. She’s super smart and really pretty and we get on really well. I love Felicity, she’s wonderful and - ” Sara paused, wondering if she was saying too much. “It was great to see them again at Thanksgiving.”

“You still see your ex-boyfriend?” Pamela asked.

“Oh yeah,” Sara said. “Ollie and I are great friends. Like I said, Felicity and I are friends too. It’s all really great. They’re like family.”

“Well that’s a shame that relationship didn’t work out for you,” Pamela said.

“It’s ok,” Sara said. “Oliver’s happy. I’m happy. I’ve met some really great people in Metropolis.”

Ava subtly placed her hand on the empty middle seat so that her pinky just touched Sara’s. Sara looked at Ava and smiled.

“But no nice boys?” Pamela asked. "Ava has trouble finding nice boys in Metropolis too. You’d think in that big city there’d be someone.”

“Do the Greens have new Christmas lights?” Ava asked, quickly changing the subject. “When we drove past their place, I’m sure some of those lit-up reindeer in the front yard looked new.”

For the rest of the short journey, Pamela talked about the Green’s new Christmas lights, the trouble Hank had had getting some of his up, and her decorating triumphs this season, with little input or encouragement needed from anyone else to keep talking. They soon arrived at the restaurant, Randy parked beside the Heywood’s and everyone hurried inside to escape the cold. A large round table had been reserved for the family.

“No sign of the Greens?” Randy asked as they approached the table.

“Not yet,” Hank Heywood said, shaking Randy’s hand. “I’m sure Gary will somehow be responsible for holding them up. How they managed to have one child working for the United Nations and the other can barely get himself in order to get out the door each morning is beyond me.”

“I think that’s them who just pulled up,” Pamela said, giving Hank a kiss on the cheek. “Let me introduce you to Ava’s little friend, Sara.”

“Mom, I’m not six. Please stop calling her my ‘little friend’,” Ava muttered, knowing she’d be ignored. The Greens arrived and further introductions were made as Sara met more of Ava’s family. Sara and Ava ended up seated almost directly opposite to Nate and Amaya, which made conversation with them practically impossible, but drinks and entrees were soon ordered and served.

“And Sara, what do you do?” Dorothy Heywood asked, taking a sip of wine.

“I’m a pathologist. I work at Metropolis Central University,” Sara said, hoping that sounded impressive enough for the family.

“Oh, I thought you were a doctor,” Pamela said.

“Yes, I am,” Sara said. “But pathology is my medical specialisation.”

“So you’re a pretend doctor, like Nathaniel,” Hank said, taking note of Sara's multiple rings and earrings, and deciding that her hair was definitely not naturally that blonde.

“Nope, I’m a real doctor. What sort of doctor is Nate?”

“He has a PhD in history,” Ava said.

“Oh, cool,” Sara smiled.

“So you’re like the Red Cross people. Gary gives blood,” Marion said. “He’s a very good boy, helping out like that. I just hate needles.”

“That’s pathology collection,” Sara tried to explain. “I analysis the samples and - ”

“But you don’t work in a hospital,” Hank said.

“No. I’m a research-lead at the university. We’re working on a project about - ”

“One of the men at the office had these heart troubles a couple of months back,” Hank said. “You’d remember telling you that, Dorothy?”

“Yes, I remember,” Dorothy said.

“Was that Ian?” Pamela asked.

“No, Ian had that weird thing with his eye. Brett had the heart troubles. Do you know what I mean, Sara?”

“I’m not a cardiologist or optometrist…so, no,” Sara said. “Maybe if you gave me a little more information?”

“And Brett’s wife had breast cancer the other year, didn’t she?” Pamela said. “No wonder he ended up with heart troubles, that would have been so stressful.”

Sara glanced at Ava who was looking sorry. Sara finished the last of her entree and dabbed her mouth with her napkin. “You need the bathroom?” she quietly asked Ava, having to stop herself before she called Ava ‘babe’.

“No, I’m right,” Ava said with a polite smile.

“You sure? You don’t want to…?”

“Oh, right, actually yeah,” Ava said, realising what Sara was implying and having a sip of wine before standing up. Her parents, aunts and uncles were having a detailed discussion regarding the various health issues of everyone they knew, and with Nate, Amaya and Gary seated opposite them on the table, Sara and Ava could head to the ladies room uninterrupted.

“I am so sorry,” Ava said as they left the dining area for the quiet hallway to the ladies room. “My family is so - ”

“It’s fine,” Sara said, holding open the door for Ava. As the door swung closed behind them, she felt a weight lift off her shoulders. Even if just for a few moments, they could truly be themselves. “It’s only a few days. Yes, your family are kinda weird, I’ll give you that, and I nearly called you babe…”

“I almost panicked thinking you were going to,” Ava giggled nervously, resting her hands on Sara’s waist. “But I am so sorry, Sara. This is so awkward. Tomorrow we’ll try to escape for a bit, ok?”

“Ok,” Sara said, wrapping her arms around Ava’s neck. “For what it’s worth, your cousins seem pretty ok.”

“Thanks,” Ava said with a small smile. “It would be better if we were sitting with them.”

“We need a kids’ table.”

Ava chuckled. “But we’ll bring the wine.”

“That red wine is actually quite nice,” Sara said. “Though I’d rather a whisky.”

“I don’t think my mom would approve of women drinking that,” Ava said, wincing and gritting her teeth. “God, I’ve never noticed how messed up this is. Do you know how hard it is not to be able to put my hand on your leg, or hold your hand, or - ”

“Try one of your arancini balls? Because those looked delicious,” Sara said.

“They were really nice and I know you like them,” Ava sighed. “We should probably go back,” she said regretfully, letting go of Sara’s waist.

Sara grabbed Ava’s hand and kissed the back of it before they stepped back into the hallway, the sounds of polite chatter and clinking cutlery getting louder.

“Hey, Ava!”

Ava and Sara jumped, quickly letting go of one another as they realised they had been holding hands. The action was so natural that neither had noticed they were doing it until Nate interrupted.

“Hey, Nate,” Ava said, her heart pounding.

“I so wish I was sitting near you guys,” Nate said, stepping in between Sara and Ava as they slowly returned to the table. “Gary is a little bit boring, and Amaya’s stressing about the kids. The kids will be fine. Mona’s looked after them before, they’re tried anyway, so they’ll just crash and fall asleep. They were a bit feral all evening once we got to mom and dad’s, but they’ve had a busy week, and this morning was chaos before we left home, then there was the drive out here, which included the obligatory McDonald’s stop.”

“We should have stopped for McDonald’s,” Sara said.

“It might have saved the other food,” Ava smirked, looking around Nate to Sara. “Maybe on the way home.”

Sara chuckled.

“So, how’s my mom been, Sara?” Nate asked. “And my dad? Hank can be a lot. Not too bad, I hope?”

“Well, you know what it’s like meeting the parents. Other people’s parents. Families. Other people, generally,” Sara stumbled over her words.

“Oh, yeah,” Nate said.

“Oh, Nathaniel!” Marion said as they approached the table, “How old were you that year that you and Gary went on camp and there was the high ropes course that you really liked?”

“I was fourteen, I think?” Nate said, “I’ll catch you guys later,” he said to Sara and Ava as he made his way back to his seat. “But my favourite camp was archeology camp. Pretty sure that was just before junior year?”

Sara and Ava settled back down, each hoping to say as little as possible and make it through the rest of the meal without any more awkward hiccups.

…

**Ava:** What are you doing?

**Sara:** About to get into bed. You?

**Ava:** Waiting for you to sneak down the hallway and join me 🤞❤️

**Sara:** 🤩💙  
 **Sara:** Coming. This feels like how I’d imagine boarding school 😅  
 **Sara:** Are you parents in bed?

**Ava:** I think so. Use your ninja skills 😉 Thank goodness for carpet.

**Sara:** On my way 😏💖

Sara crept down the hallway, trying to think of an excuse if she happened to get caught. There was a soft golden light glowing underneath Ava’s door, and Ava inched the door open as Sara approached.

“Shh,” Ava grinned as Sara tried to repress a giggle.

Sara hurried the final few steps into Ava’s room, and Ava quickly shut the door, using the door stopper to wedge it closed. They collapsed into a fit of giggles on Ava’s bed at the ridiculousness of the situation.

“Dinner was so awkward, I’m so sorry,” Ava said. “Mom and her prying questions, uncle Hank mansplaining everything…”

“No one gets to choose their relatives, so stop apologising, babe,” Sara said, giving Ava a kiss on the lips.

Ava melted into Sara’s arms and kissed her more passionately, longing for the closeness after feeling forced to be physically seperate from her since arriving at her parent’s house. She let go of Sara to climb under the covers, holding them up for Sara to join her. Sara crawled in and snuggled by Ava’s side. Ava reached over to turn off the lamp, before wrapping her arms around Sara.

“I can’t thank you enough,” Ava said.

“Let’s not talk about that right now,” Sara said, closing her eyes, feeling tired yet comfortable in Ava’s embrace. “You don’t expect me to be normal, and I don’t expect it from you or your family either.”

Ava kissed Sara’s head and held her a little closer. “Thank-you,” she breathed.


	3. Chapter 3

Ava and Sara woke with a start at the sound of knocking against the bedroom door. Ava’s heart pounded in her chest as her mind scrambled to wake up.

“Ava? Honey, it’s half-past seven,” Pamela called, still tapping on the door. “I’m making waffles for breakfast. Would you like your sweet or savoury topping? I’ll need to get the bacon out if you’d like savoury.”

“Mom, I - umm…” Ava said, looking frantically at Sara lying beside her who was biting her lip to stop herself from laughing.

“Is your door stuck too, honey? With all that rain we had a few weeks ago I think the house must have shifted because a couple of the doors have been sticking.”

“Oh, shit,” Ava breathed, climbing over Sara who rolled across the bed and dropped down onto the floor on the far side of the bed, away from the door. “Hang on, mom,” Ava said, hurrying to the door and kicking the stopper out of the way. “There we go,” she said, mustering the best smile she could manage.

“Are you only just waking up, honey?” Pamela said, looking at Ava in her navy satin pyjamas and messy hair.

“I am on vacation,” Ava said a little defensively, positioning herself so her mother didn’t enter the bedroom.

“Well, we have a lot to get organised before the party, and I’m going to need your help. You get dressed, I’ll go and wake Sara.”

“Oh, no, mom,” Ava said quickly. “Let her sleep. I’ll send her a text message. Umm… bacon and maple syrup. That’s what Sara likes.”

“Ok then,” Pamela said. “But if she’d rather have Nutella or chocolate syrup and ice-cream…”

“She prefers savoury,” Ava said with a tight smile. “I’ll have the same. Please.”

“Well, I’m glad you know her preferences. Come on now, time to get dressed.”

Ava took a deep breath. having heard that exact phrase a thousand times many years ago when she was at school. “Ok, mom. I’ll get dressed and be down in a minute,” she said, slowly closing the door. Ava turned from the door to see Sara pop her head up. “Shhhh.”

Sara put her hands over her mouth to try and stop herself from laughing.

“Well, you’re mom’s not wrong about you knowing my preferences,” Sara smirked, standing up.

“Stop it,” Ava whispered and blushed.

“Guess I better sneak back to my room.”

“Ugh, this is so embarrassing,” Ava said, covering her face with her hands.

“No, babe, this is clichéd-levels of funny,” Sara said, crossing the room and taking Ava’s hands in her own and forcing Ava to look at her. “I’ll go to my room, get dressed and brush my hair to appear presentable, and come down for breakfast in, say, ten, fifteen minutes?”

Ava nodded, holding Sara’s hands. “Thank-you.”

“I’m starting to understand why my mom usually just runs away at Christmastime on one of those Caribbean cruises like she’s on this year,” Sara said. “Next year we’re decamping to Aruba.”

“Yes. Anywhere,” Ava said. “I’ve actually fantasied about spending Christmas in Rome, then New Year’s in London.”

“Sounds perfect,” Sara smiled.

“We’d have to visit Jessica Green, but a couple of days in Switzerland would hardly be terrible.”

“Wanna book flights now, babe?” Sara asked.

Ava chuckled. “I wish.”

“You think your mom is safely downstairs so I can make a run for it?” Sara asked.

“Yeah, she’ll be making the waffles now.”

“See you in a few,” Sara said, giving Ava a kiss. “Oh, and for the record when your mom inevitably asks: I slept really well last night.”

…

“Good morning, Sara, honey,” Pamela said as Sara entered the Sharpe’s huge, predominately white country-style kitchen.

“Morning everyone,” Sara said, catching Ava’s eye. “The waffles are smelling good.”

“Good morning, Sara,” Randy said, dressed head-to-toe in high-end cold-weather running gear. “I’ll be back soon, ladies. Thank-you for breakfast, darling,” he said, giving Pamela a kiss on the cheek before heading out.

“Enjoy the run, honey. Sara, I’ve made the coffee,” Pamela said. “Unless you prefer tea? I know Ava likes tea in the morning, and I have a range of different sorts if that’s what you’d prefer. The waffles won’t be long.”

“Coffee would be great, thanks,” Sara said. “I can make it.”

“Oh, no, you take a seat, sweetheart,” Pamela said, getting a mug for Sara. “Sugar? Milk?”

“A tiny bit of sugar, no milk,” Sara said, sitting down beside Ava at the kitchen table.

“Did you sleep well?” Ava asked with a little smile, looking suitably festive in a cozy Fair Isle patterned woolly jumper, her hair looking perfectly neat even though all she’d done was spray a little product in it and given it a brush.

“I did, thank-you,” Sara grinned conspiratorially, wondering if her tight-fitting black high-necked sweater was appropriate. “The bed was very warm and comfortable.”

“I am glad to hear it, Sara,” Pamela said. "You girls know we’re having dinner at the Heywood’s tonight?”

“Are we?” Ava asked, raising her eyebrows.

“I’m sure I’ve told you that, Ava, honey,” Pamela said, bringing Sara’s coffee to the table. “We’ll go over at six o’clock.”

“And eat at ten?” Ava asked rhetorically, sipping her tea.

Pamela pretended not to have heard Ava, and set about preparing the waffles on the plates.

“Dorothy isn’t exactly great at timing when it comes to meals,” Ava explained to Sara. “Mom, I’m guessing there’s plans for almost every moment of every day between now and when Sara and I return to Metropolis?”

“Well, not quite every moment,” Pamela said and chuckled. “I’ll write you a timetable, ok, honey? I know you like lists and timetables and all that sort of thing.”

“Thank-you,” said Ava.

As Sara and Ava enjoyed their waffles while Pamela explained in detail the plans for coming days, while simultaneously writing them down on a floral notepad for Ava.

“This is why dad always gets his run in nice and early,” Ava explained quietly to Sara.

“Oh, and Ava, honey, we need to make tickets for the Gift Game,” Pamela said.

“Ok. Maybe Gary could do that?” Ava suggested.

“No, no, honey. Someone with nice handwriting. You have that lovely cursive handwriting. Later on, you’ll have to pop into the stationary suppliers and get some little cards.”

“How many would we need?” Ava asked, wondering how her mother managed to be so unorganised.

“Oh, at least 30,” Pamela said. “But maybe 50 just to be safe? We’ll make up 30 tickets to start with, then you can write up extras as the guests arrive.”

“Right,” said Ava, catching Sara’s eye as Sara sipped her coffee.

“Gift game?” Sara asked.

“White Elephant? Yankee Swap? Dirty Santa? We’ve always called it the Gift Game, but I guess those are the more official titles,” Ava explained. “And it’s always on Christmas Eve.”

“Ah, I see. Do I need to have a gift?”

“Umm, yes. Sorry, ba - Sara, I should have said,” Ava said, her heart-rate rocketing at catching herself almost having called Sara ‘babe’.

“Does your family have a tradition like that, Sara?” Pamela asked.

“Not really, no,” Sara said. “I don’t have a lot of extended family. Online shopping allows me to easily send something to my mom and dad, but otherwise Christmas is… it’s not really a big thing for us.”

“Oh, the Gift Game and Christmas Eve Party is very important in our family,” Pamela said. “Each year we take it in turns hosting. The Heywood’s hosted last year, we have it this year, and next year it will be with the Green’s, then we’ll repeat again! It’s all very good fun.”

Ava caught Sara’s eye and pulled a face before mouthing “It’s really not.” Sara took a sip of coffee try to hide her smirk from Pamela.

By ten o’clock, Sara and Ava were able to escape from the house for a little while, Ava driving them to the lake ten minutes down the road. When they arrived the sky was mostly clear, with the weak midwinter sunshine doing it’s best to the day a little warmth. With the place all to themselves, Sara and Ava held hands as they walked around the icy lake. Icicles hung from otherwise bare tree branches, frost crunched underfoot, and the walk gave them to opportunity to relax and talk as they normally would, forgetting, if only for a little while, the people they had to be around Ava’s family.

All too soon they were back in the car returning home for lunch. Pamela called Ava into the kitchen to help, while Sara went upstairs. The way Ava’s demeanour changed and stiffened as soon as they stepped in the door left Sara feeling disheartened. Sara took off her outerwear and lay back on her bed, wishing she would be invited to take part in the domestic activities in the kitchen. She knew she wasn’t a great cook, but she wasn’t completely hopeless with all chores. Needing to debrief, Sara sat up, grabbed her phone and called Charlie.

“Sara Lance! How’s things upstate?” Charlie asked.

“All right,” Sara said, able to hear that Charlie was smiling. “How’s Metropolis? You’re sounding cheerful.”

“Z confirmed this morning that we’re going to _Come From Away_ tomorrow night after I made an alternate suggestion for the umpteenth time. I know I’m not usually one for musical theatre, but this kinda feels reminiscent of going to a panto before Christmas as a kid, so I’m actually really excited. Also I made a Nigella recipe for sticky gingerbread this morning. It’s still cooling in the pan, but it smells amazing, and I have to admit I licked the bowl, and the mixture tasted great. How’s the Sharpe clan?”

“They - they’re umm…” Sara began, but wasn’t sure what she wanted to say.

“Everything ok?” Charlie asked.

Sara took a deep breath. “Ava’s not out to her family. They don’t know we’re together,” she said quickly.

“What?”

“We’ve got seperate rooms, though I did manage to sneak down the hall last night. No hand-holding or touching allowed in public, of course. I’ve almost called her ‘babe’ about half a dozen times in front of her parents or other relatives, and she’s done the same. It’s - it’s not what I expected.”

“I thought - we’ll I didn’t think she was closeted.”

“Me either,” said Sara. “Though having met most of her extended family now…” Sara sighed. “I’m beginning to understand why she might not feel so comfortable coming out.”

“Well that sucks,” Charlie said sympathetically. “For both of you. So her family honestly believe she’s straight?”

“I think so, yeah.”

“And they think that their straight daughter brought home her bisexual best friend for Christmas?”

“Oh, they think I’m straight too,” Sara said.

“Have they met you?” Charlie asked. “Have they not noticed you constantly checking Ava out and undressing her with your eyes? Are they all insane?”

Sara couldn’t help but chuckle. “Yes to them possibly all being insane. Her mom asked me if I had a boyfriend, and I think her uncle thinks I’m a ‘fake doctor’, whatever that means, but that uncle seems like a jerk. Her cousin has a PhD in history, which from what I can tell doesn’t count for much in the eyes of his father. The cousins seem ok, actually.”

“Well, that’s something, I guess,” Charlie said. “But it sounds like things aren’t what you expected at all.”

“I really don’t know what I expected,” Sara said honestly. “But it wasn’t this. Ava and I managed to go for a walk this morning which was nice, but it wasn’t until we got back to the house that I noticed how different she is around her family. I know everyone falls back into certain roles around family, but I… Even though this is far from ideal - I think she needs this.”

“So, you’re going to play along?”

“I guess,” Sara said. “If that’s what Ava needs me to do.”

“What about the ring?” Charlie asked.

Sara inhaled sharply. “I’m not sure. I mean, I want to go ahead with my plans as they are but I’m thinking New Year’s is just as stereotypical, right? Or New Year’s Day, when we wake up in the morning? I don’t know. I don’t know what to do and I don’t want to pressure her or make her any more uncomfortable than she already seems to be when it comes to all that and her family.”

“But you still want to marry her? Even though she’s not out to her family?”

“Of course. I want to support her, whatever that looks like.”

“Good on you,” Charlie said. “I know Zari had some worries about coming out. I was never really ‘in’, and, well, everyone’s different.”

“I know,” Sara said. “I guess I was lucky that dad and Laurel were so good about it. Mom was a bit awkward, then even more awkward when apologising for being awkward.”

Charlie chuckled. “We are definitely going out for beers once you’re back in town.”

“Definitely,” Sara said. “I wouldn’t mind a beer with lunch right now. Ava’s family all seem to be fancy wine drinkers.”

“Ah,” Charlie said. “Say no more! But you need to talk about anything, you just call me, yeah? But obviously not tomorrow night when I’m at the theatre.”

“Will do,” Sara said. “I’ll let you get back to being a domestic goddess.”

Charlie laughed. “Ha, I wish! Say hi to Ava for me, and give her a hug if you can.”

“Will do. Enjoy the show tomorrow. Are you going out to dinner too?”

“Yeah, we’ll get dumplings at one of the delicious cheap places in Chinatown. Chat later, yeah?”

“Yep. See you, Charlie.”

“See you, doc. Bye.”

The phone rang off and Sara lay back on the bed, placing the phone down beside her, trying to make sense of her thoughts. A moment later, her phone pinged.

**Ava:** Lunch is ready 😘  
 **Ava:** Toasted sandwiches. I put extra cheese in yours and just a little bit of cracked pepper.  
 **Ava:** Also I really enjoyed the walk. Wish we could go again ❄️🏔️🎄  
 **Ava:** And the Palmers are coming between 2 and 3. They’re nice, I promise.

Sara couldn’t help but smile at Ava’s string of messages. This was harder for Ava than it was for her.Sara decided she’d message her dad after lunch, nothing sweet and sappy as they weren’t like that, just giving him a quick update and send a picture or two of her and Ava at the lake. She knew that he’d like that, and anticipating his fairly standard response of “Looks great. Stay warm. Have a good afternoon,” made her feel all warm inside and she realised how lucky she was.

**Sara:** Same about the walk 🏔️☺️  
 **Sara:** On my way down 🥪👍💙


	4. Chapter 4

Ray and Nora Palmer, along with their baby son Daniel, arrived just after two o’clock. Ava was very excited to meet little Daniel and to offer her congratulations in person to Ray and Nora. She couldn’t help feeling bad for not having found an opportunity to visit in the nine months since Daniel had been born, but pushed the thought aside. She was very happy that they were here now, as she’d always gotten along well with Ray and Nora. Within minutes of their arrival, Sara and Ray were setting up the port-a-cot in the room designated to the Palmers, joking and laughing as though they’d know each other for years, which helped Ava to relax a little.

Ava held Daniel while Nora unpacked a few things, happy that Daniel seemed as good-natured as his father, and given that both of his parents were also in the room, was happy to be held by Ava.

“Let me just hide those,” Nora said, quickly stashing two book-shaped gifts into an empty draw.

“Is that our bookclub gifts?” Ava asked with a grin, bouncing Daniel on her hip.

“Maybe,” Nora said, looking for somewhere to put the box of diapers. “What have you gone for this year? Fact or fiction?”

“No spoilers,” Ava said. “You’ll find out whenever we have time for bookclub. Now that you’re here, I’ll have to message Mona and we can figure something out.”

A few years ago, Ava, Nora and Mona had started their own little bookclub, which was predominately just them buying each other a copy of the best book they’d read during the year. It was often something that the other two wouldn’t usually choose for themselves, but they were yet to be disappointed with one another’s choices.

“You’re lucky that I somehow managed to read about four books for grown-ups this year that weren’t about having babies or what to do once you have had one. I was tossing up between perennial favourites _What to Expect When You’re Expecting_ , _Raising Boys_ , the baby book _The Wonderful Things You Will Be,_ which is super sweet, or the title I finally decided on.”

“It’s a good one too,” Ray said, standing up. “But don’t worry, Ava, no spoilers! All done with the port-a-cot, I think. Well done, Doctor Lance.”

“Not too shabby yourself, Doctor Palmer. If we ever decide to leave our respective careers, I think we could do quite well in the baby furniture assembly business,” Sara joked, getting to her feet.

Ray laughed. “We’d be good at it too.”

“Ava! Uncle Rich is here!” Pamela called from the bottom of the stairs.

“Who?” Sara asked.

“Oh, no,” Ava sighed, the small amount of good feeling she had built up quickly evaporating.

“Ava, honey!”

“Coming! Ray, you better take your baby,” Ava said, handing Daniel back to Ray. “Guess I better go say hi.”

Sara followed Ava out of the bedroom. “Who’s Uncle Rich?”

“Dorothy Heywood’s brother. He must be staying here because the Heywood’s have a full house. If you think Hank can be a handful, well - don’t mention Obama.”

“Ok,” Sara said as they reached the top of the stairs. “And what’s bookclub?”

“I’ll explain later,” Ava replied, looking back over her shoulder at Sara for encouragement, while feeling increasingly overwhelmed.

…

At exactly 5.55pm, Pamela Sharpe ushered her family and guests out the door and led the way across the yard to the Heywood’s equally large family home. Randy had been handing out flashlights to those who wanted one, and Ray and Pam had decorated Daniel’s stroller with a string of battery operated fairy lights.

“I’m still not sure if I love the fairy lights on the stroller, or if it’s the tackiest thing I’ve ever seen,” Nora said, hands shoved deep into her coat pockets, walking with Sara and Ava, while Ray pushed the stroller and chattered to Pam, and Randy and Rich brought up the rear.

“It’s kind of fun,” Ava said. “Henry and Marie are going to love it.”

“Oh, they will. I don’t think Daniel cares this year,” Nora said. “He was more interested in the wrapping paper than any of his Hanukkah gifts. His favourite thing right now is putting anything he can get his chubby little hands on into his mouth.”

“Did you have a snack before dinner?” Ava asked.

“Sure did,” Nora said. “We packed sandwiches for the drive, but ended up getting McDonald’s on the way here, so we had the sandwiches while we were getting ready. I’m guessing dinner will be served around midnight?”

“Are we the only ones who didn’t stop at McDonald’s?” Sara pouted.

Ava chuckled and almost reached for Sara’s hand before stopping herself. They approached the brightly lit Heywood family home, and were quickly ushered inside where they removed their layers of outerwear. As well as all the family members Sara had met, there were eight further introductions to be made, including Nate and Amaya’s beautiful young children, five-year-old Henry and three-year-old Marie, who were more interested in playing with baby Daniel than meeting anyone else.

Ava chose to busy herself with any little chore than needed to be done in order to avoid as much small talk with her extended family as possible. She was grateful that Sara had immediately hit it off with Nate and Ray, and the three of them were standing around with their glasses of white wine and a bowl which had been filled with popcorn but they’d long since emptied, looking as though they’d known one another their whole lives. Despite Sara looking so cool and comfortable, Ava couldn’t help but feel that she was neglecting her girlfriend. She didn’t know when or how much to involve Sara in any activity. They were supposed to be just roommates, after all. If the truth could be known, then the answer became simple: she could involve Sara in everything. Instead, Ava went about avoiding everyone as much as possible, excusing herself from conversations as soon as they became the slightest bit personal, and generally feeling like the world’s biggest fraud.

“Ava? Ava?”

Ava turned around and saw Nora staying behind her, bouncing a grizzly Daniel on her hip.

“I’m going to go feed Daniel in the library and try to get him to sleep,” Nora said. “His sleep schedule has been all messed up today, but playing with the Heywood kids has thankfully tired him out. I’ll be finished long before that turkey is finished cooking.”

“Ok, yeah,” Ava said, feeling so highly strung she could hardly get a handful of words out.

“You ok?” Nora asked. “You can come chat while I feed him if you’d like. Pretty much everyone else has seen me with my tits out this year.”

“What? No, I - umm, I - ”

Nora laughed. “It’s ok. You just tired?”

“Yeah, you know what my mom’s like,” Ava said, glad that Nora had suggested an excuse for her. “Coming here is hardly a vacation.”

“Oh, I know,” Nora said. “Ok, I’ll be back after however long this takes. Come on, little man, dinner time for you.”

Ava watched Nora disappear down the hallway, wishing she could go and hide in the Heywood’s cozy library for a little while, and was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn’t notice Sara slide up beside her.

“Let’s go sit with the kids and eat some pizza slices,” Sara said conspiratorially, looking at Henry and Marie seated at their little table with a pile of slices in front of them. “Dorothy just served them up just after Amaya quietly complained to Nate that it was getting late, and the kids should be getting ready for bed and they’d eaten way too many cookies. Can we have some pizza?”

“Sara, we can’t steal food from the children,” Ava said quietly.

“And I can’t survive another two hours waiting for the adult’s dinner. There’s also a distinct lack of snacks, and probably more pizza slices in the freezer. Plus Dorothy is definitely going to offer the kids a massive bowl of ice-cream once they’re done.”

Ava looked over at the kids’ table. She heard the noise of something fall from somewhere else in the house, followed by silly laughter from Chris and Tyson, the boisterous pre-teen son’s of Nate’s cousin Patty. Nora would be a while feeding Daniel, in the sitting area Nate, Amaya and Ray were having a very animated conversation about something, and Ava didn’t really want to talk to any of the rest of the family.

“You ok?” Sara asked. “You look tense.”

“Yep. Pizza slice time.”

Sara grinned, and had to stop herself from taking Ava’s hand. They went over to the table and sat down.

“Hi guys,” Ava said, feeling very close to the ground on the kid-sized chair. “Mind if we join you?”

“Ok. We’re having pizza for dinner,” Henry said.

“Could my friend Sara and I try some?” Ava asked. “Looks like you guys are enjoying it because Marie has pizza sauce all over her face.”

“I need wipes,” said Marie, holding up her sticky fingers.

“Finish eating, then we’ll find you some wipes,” said Ava.

“You can try some, Aunty Ava and Sara,” Henry said.

“Thanks, bud,” said Sara, taking a slice. “I think there’s some more in the freezer if you’re still hungry. I’m sure Aunty Ava knows how to work the oven.”

“Grandma has two ovens,” Henry said, his mouth full of pizza.

“You’re grandma sure has a big kitchen,” said Sara. “We have a little kitchen at our house.”

“We have a normal sized one,” said Henry. “And we got a Christmas tree. But Santa knows to come leave our presents at Grandma and Grandpa Hank’s house.”

“Santa’s pretty clever like that,” Sara said. “He knows to leave ours at the Sharpe’s house and not in our house in Metropolis too.”

Henry nodded and had a drink of Fanta. Sara looked at the couple of remaining pizza slices, then at Ava.

Ava gave a nod, “I’ll go see about putting some more in the oven.”

Sara grinned. Even though Ava was seated awkwardly on the little chair, in an odd way, Sara though that she looked more comfortable than she had for most of the afternoon. “Hey, Ava, I think we might need a couple more cups to share this Fanta too.”

“Not a problem,” Ava said. “I think we can both be trusted with big-girl glasses.”

“I use a glass at home, but Marie always spills her drink and dropped a glass at home and it broke,” Henry said, telling on his little sister.

“Only one time,” Marie protested.

“I’m sure she’s learning,” Sara said. “I’m a bit jealous of your glittery reindeer cups though.”

“Grandma found them at the shops for us,” Henry said.

“I’ll see if I can find any more,” Ava grinned, giving Sara’s shoulder a squeeze.

Across the room, Nate noticed Ava and Sara sitting with his children, eating the kid’s food which he had suggested to Ray that they do, knowing exactly how long his mother took to cook anything. Sara must be good with children, because Henry and Marie looked very happy talking to her while Ava got more food. He also noticed the way Ava looked at Sara too, and both of their little mannerisms towards one another.

“Hmmm.”

“What’s that?” Ray asked.

“Nothing,” Nate said with a little smile, turning his attention back to Ray. “Just thinking about a theory I’m theorising. I’ve noticed Amaya looking rather like the cat who’s got the cream this evening, and now I think I might know why.”

…

Sara woke to the sound of people talking and doors being opened and closed. Ava was lying beside her on her stomach, her arm draped across Sara’s chest.

“Babe?” Sara whispered, combing her fingers through Ava’s hair. “Ava?”

“Mmm?”

“Babe, I think your mom - ”

“…See if it’s in Ava’s room,” Sara heard Pamela saying out in the hallway.

The door-handle turned as Sara scrambled out of bed, leapt across the room and flattened herself against the wall behind the door as Pam opened the door with a flourish.

“Oh, Ava, sweetheart, it’s after eight o’clock! You’re still asleep?”

“Mmm, mom…” Ava moaned, rolling over and lifting her head. She caught sight of Sara half-hidden behind the bedroom door as Pamela crossed the room and opened the curtains. Ava’s heart pounded in her chest; if her mother turned to her right, she’s see Sara too. Thankfully, after flinging the curtains open, she instead went to Ava’s large closest, opening it up and having a look on the shelves.

“Any luck?” Randy asked, standing in the doorway. “Morning Ava.”

“Hi, dad,” Ava said, rubbing her eyes.

“I’m sure it’s in here, darling,” Pamela said, looking at the shelves while her father wandered off again. “It is a lovely morning, Ava. It’s supposed to snow later, and I want to get up to town and visit Mom and Aunty Tilda at the nursing home. Obviously, they’re coming tomorrow night, but I thought would be nice if just the three of us went along. Actually, I’ll see if Marion would like to come too. Hank will be too busy, of course.”

“Right,” Ava said. “Mom, what are you doing?”

“Just looking for - ah! Here it is! Randal, I found it!” Pamela called, pulling down a box. “Should I wake up Sara, sweetheart?”

“No. No, leave her please, mom,” Ava said quickly, doing her best not to glance at where Sara was half-hidden. “I’ll come see Grandma with you. What time do you want to leave?”

“Well, you know what your Grandma and Aunty Tilda are like going to church every morning, but I’d like to be there before ten.”

“Ok, I’ll come down for breakfast shortly. And bring Sara. Wake her. Let - let her know if she would like to come out. Come downstairs.”

“All right, sweetheart,” Pamela said, closing the door on her way out. “But time to get a move on.”

Sara exhaled loudly, grabbed the door stopper and wedged it under the door before climbing back onto the bed and having to bury her face in the pillows to stop her laughter from being heard.

“Stop it,” Ava said, poking Sara in her ticklish spots, trying not to laugh herself. “That was way too close.”

“Babe, you have to laugh.”

“I am, babe, but I’m simultaneously having a heart attack!”

Sara chuckled and sat up, brushing her hair off her face. “Guess I better go White Rabbit shopping while you visit your grandma.”

“It’s White Elephant, but yeah. Oh, and tonight Nate, Gary and I will be meeting up with a bunch of our old school friends for drinks. It’s something we do every year, there’s about 20 of us who catch up. You’re welcome to come.”

“Do the others bring their partners?”

“Ah - umm…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Sara said, “You go, I’ll have a quiet night. It’s fine, Ava.”

“Hey, Sara,” Ava grabbed Sara’s hand.

“It’s ok, babe,” Sara said with a small smile. “After two busy nights, and with the party tomorrow, it’ll be good to have a quiet night in.”

“Ok,” Ava said.

“Ok,” said Sara. “Now I should probably try sneak back to my room before your mom comes barging back in. Imagine if we got caught by Uncle Rich…”

“Don’t even joke about that,” Ava said. “Ugh, mom is so embarrassing, I am so sorry, babe,” she laughed awkwardly, covering her face with her hands.

Sara took Ava’s hands in her own so she could see her girlfriend’s face. “We’re getting there, babe. Last night we were saved by frozen pizza slices and soft drink, but we’re getting there. We’re gunna be ok.”


	5. Chapter 5

With Ava tied up visiting her grandmother and great-aunt, she found out that Nate and Ray plans to go to the mall, and Sara agreed to go along with them to buy the White Elephant gift she needed. She was soon squeezed in the very back of Nate’s people-mover beside Henry, with Marie and Daniel in the middle section, and Nate and Ray up front. Amaya was staying home with ‘important mom jobs to do’, which Sara took to mean Christmas gifts to wrap, and maybe a sneaky nap.

Nate had a Disney playlist playing through the speakers to which everyone sung along.

“How do you know all the words?” Henry asked Sara.

“Everyone knows all the words. Plus _Moana_ is an excellent film,” Sara said, deciding not to go into detail about her rounds in paediatric ward while she was completing her pathology specialisation, and the many tips and tricks given by the other staff on the ward for how to get the best out of the children, especially when you’re coming to poke them with needles.

“I like _Frozen_ the best,” said Marie, trying to turn around to look at Sara and Henry.

“I noticed your Elsa beanie,” Sara said. “It’s very pretty with that fluffy blue pompom.”

“Mine is Spider-Man,” said Henry.

“Mine’s just plain black,” said Sara. “You guys have much more exciting beanies. Maybe Santa will bring me a fun one.”

“Maybe a rainbow-colour one!” Marie said.

Sara’s eyes widened. “Umm…” she started awkwardly, Marie’s innocent comment having caught her off guard. “That sounds nice. But I think I’d prefer Wonder Woman, or maybe a shark pattern.”

“Marie always says rainbow-colour, but rainbow isn’t one colour, it’s lots of colours,” Henry said.

“Anyone else want another round of _You’re Welcome_?” Nate asked, glancing back through the rear-view mirror, somewhat worried that his three-year-old was going to accidentally out the super-cool Sara Lance.

“Yes!” cheered the children and Ray. Sara laughed as Ray fiddled with Nate’s iPhone to change the song, and once again everyone sang along.

Despite being fairly early, they ended up parked a long way from the entrance as it seemed everyone else had also decided to get their shopping done as early as possible. Once they were inside, Sara and Ray left Nate with his children try and see go Santa, and headed off to find something to buy for the White Elephant party.

“We can buy alcohol, right?” Sara asked.

“Technically, I think so?” Ray said, pushing the stroller. “But not many people do. What are your thoughts, Daniel?”

Daniel paid no attention to Ray and continued chewing on his _Peep Inside Space_ baby book.

“Actually buddy, a coffee-table book on space isn’t a terrible idea,” Ray said. “Good thinking, Daniel. Any idea where the bookshop is, Sara?”

“None at all,” Sara said, noticing that the mall was getting more crowded by the minute. “And I’m sticking with buying alcohol. What’s the price range?”

“Umm… we should have asked Nate.”

“Haven’t you done this before?” Sara asked.

“Oh, I have,” Ray said. “But I usually just buy something extremely specific and somewhat obscure which I want, and I’ve always ended up with it.”

“What about Nora?”

“She’s all organised. But when it comes to White Elephant, she makes me fend for myself.”

Sara laughed. “So we need the bottle shop, book shop, and price range. I’ll message Ava.” Sara pulled her phone out of her pocket and stopped out the front of a shop. “Ooh, I like those jeans,” she said, snapping a picture of the distressed black skinny jeans on the manikin in the window and sending it to Ava along with the gift price question.

“So now we wait?” Ray asked.

“Ava won’t take long,” Sara said, keeping hold of her phone while they waited. “Daniel’s going to eat that book.”

“He hasn’t got enough teeth for that year,” Ray said. “He’s sure having a go at it though, aren’t you, buddy?”

Daniel cooed and Sara’s phone pinged.

“Is that Ava?”

“Yep,” Sara said, opening the message and reading out-loud. “‘About $100, but if something’s on special, no one will know 😉 Yes to the jeans, you’d - ,’ umm, don’t worry about the rest,” Sara said, quickly pocketing the phone and hoping Ray hadn’t seen the rest of the message where Ava had written ‘you’d look hot in them’. “Mind if I pop in here for a moment? I won’t be long, I know my size.”

“No worries,” Ray said with his ever-affable smile. “I’ll find the map and look up where the book shop and bottle store are.”

“Good idea,” Sara said. “Won’t be long, I promise.”

Ray pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened the messages.

**Ray:** You know how you were theorising about a theory last night?

**Nate:** Yeah… 🧐

**Ray:** I am theorising too. Think we might be theorising about the same thing?

**Nate:** 😲🤔  
 **Nate:** Does your theory involve a certain tall, blonde cousin of mine and her short, also blonde “roommate” 

**Ray:** 😃 Yes!

**Nate:** Dude! That’s amazing! We’re thinking the same thoughts! 🙌

**Ray:** We should be part of some psychology study!! 🙌  
 **Ray:** Do you think we should tell anyone? 🤔

**Nate:** Absolutely, definitely not. Not even our respective wives. If they figure it out, then that’s good for them 🤐  
 **Nate:** I mean, I think Amaya has figured it out, but I don’t think I can bring it up.  
 **Nate:** If we’re right, and it’s a big if, I think it’s poor form to say anything.   
**Nate:** It’s a bit like how you can’t assume a woman is pregnant. Well, you can assume, but you sure as hell can’t say anything until she or another woman confirms it.

**Ray:** Nora was already theorising this morning. She thinks Sara slept in Ava’s room last night.

**Nate:** 😲😲😲  
 **Nate:** Ok, that is way to much info about effectively my sister 🙈

**Ray:** Ooops, sorry man 😬  
 **Ray:** But do you think any of your relations have having similar thoughts? 🤔

**Nate:** Lol  
 **Nate:** Have you met them????  
 **Nate:** Absolutely not in the slightest bit at all 🤪🤡

…

Nate and the kids asked Sara and the Palmers to have lunch with them at the Heywood’s place, and Nate sent a message to Ava inviting her over as well. Dorothy was pleasantly surprised at the influx of people for lunch, as they used up all the leftovers from the night before, as well as all the cold meats, cheese, tomatoes, avocado and bread in the house.

“Sara, would you like to come round here after dinner?” Amaya asked, sitting next to Sara at the table, while Ava was at the other end with Nora and the children. Nora was feeding Daniel little pieces of sandwich, Marie had jam all over her face and fingers, and Ava was pretending to follow whatever Henry was prattling on about. Sara and Amaya had sat side-by-side the previous night as well, and Sara was pleased to have gotten along with Amaya just as well as she had with Nate and Ray. “It’ll just be me and the kids. We’re going to watch a Christmas film, but I haven’t decided which one yet.”

“That sounds good, thanks,” said Sara between mouthfuls of toasted sandwich, genuinely grateful for the offer. “I don’t have any other plans.”

“Oh, you guys get the fun thing to do,” Nate whined.

“Oh, Nathaniel,” Amaya laughed. “Patty’s taking the boys to the cinema, and mom and Hank are going to a Christmas concert with Marion and Peter Green, so we’ll have to house to ourselves. We’ll have some beers and chips and the kids are bound to fall asleep before the film ends.”

“Anything sounds fun when the alternative is hanging out with Uncle Rich,” Sara said quietly, causing Nate to guffaw into his drink and Amaya almost choked on her sandwich.

Later, as Sara and Ava walked back to the Sharpe’s house, they linked arms during the short amount of time during which they were out of sight from the Heywood house, and before they could be seen by the Sharpe’s. Sara carried her bags of shopping, not allowing Ava to see her purchases quite yet, and wishing to herself that the Sharpe’s could live a little bit further from their relations to extend the walk.

“And mom’s already got me signed up for a whole heap of chores this afternoon,” Ava said. “I feel like I keep abandoning you.”

“Hey, it’s all right,” Sara said, giving Ava a playful bump. “And you know I’m happy to help out. It feels weird sitting around when everyone else has something to do.”

“I wish I could come hang out with you and Amaya and the kids this evening.”

“Say you’re not feeling well, don’t go and come with me instead,” Sara said.

“And deal with the hundred questions from Gary and mom and Marion and everyone else regarding how I’m feeling between then and when we return to Metropolis?” Ava sighed. “It’s almost worth it. If mom wants me to go out and get anything this afternoon, I’ll volunteer you to come with me.”

Sara smiled up at Ava as Ava reluctantly unlinked their arms. “I will go into town or clean bathrooms or polish silverware or whatever crazy jobs your mom thinks of if it means we get to be together for a little while.”

“Don’t joke about polishing the silverware,” Ava said. “I don’t know if it’s been done.”

Sara laughed. “At this stage, polishing the silverware together would just about count as a date.”

Ava’s smile fell. “I’m so sorry, Sara. Really, I - ”

“Ava, I - ”

“This isn’t what you signed up for,” Ava said, letting go of Sara’s arm as they approached the house. "This whole situation, I - we don’t even have the opportunity to go for a drive like we did to the lake the other day. I can’t apologise enough, I - ”

“Babe, please stop beating yourself up about this,” Sara said, wishing she could give Ava a hug. “Next year we’ll run away to Rome just like you suggested, and we’ll have a fantastic Christmas. This year is just about getting through it.”

“I owe you so much…” Ava swallowed, wishing they could run away right now.

“And once we get home, I can think of many ways in which you can make it up to me,” Sara said with a smirk.

…

Ava had left home regretfully that evening, climbing in the car with Nate and Gary, while Sara, and Amaya and the children waved them off from the Heywood’s. As soon as Ava and Sara had arrived there, the children, already bathed and dressed in matching candy-cane and ginger-bread men patterned pyjamas, had excitedly shown Sara to the set-up in the living room, with the bowls of chips on the coffee table, the Christmas tree lights shining, and the wood fire burning. Ava had hardly had a moment alone with Sara all afternoon, and having to leave Sara looking all soft in sweatpants and an oversized hoody, while she felt awkward in any of the multiple outfits she’d tried on, was almost more than Ava could bear.

Now, standing around in the bar, trying to make small talk with people she had known what felt like several lifetimes ago was much worse than having to spend the evening with her extended family, Ava decided. She’d already been asked twice if she had a boyfriend, once if she was married (straight marriage presumed of course), and once if she had a partner. Denying Sara made her feel ill, but there was no way she was willing to open up and come out to these people. Ava considered just hanging out with her cousins, but Gary looked like he was having a wonderful time with his group of friends, and Nate was talking sports with some of the other men.

Ava contemplated getting out her phone and messaging Sara, but she knew someone was bound to look over her shoulder and ask her who she was texting if she did. She wondered what Sara was doing, and could imagine her curled up on the couch, looking all cozy and warm, happily watching whatever festive film had been selected by Amaya, playing with the kids and eating chips and candy. Ava knew that if she asked Sara to go back to the Sharpe household, get Ava’s car keys off the dresser and drive into town to collect her, Sara would do it without complaint.

“Hey, Ava, we’re gunna do some shots!” Gary grinned, looking so excited that anyone would think he’d just reached the legal drinking age and this was his first big night out.

“Oh, umm, I’m going to the bathroom. You can get started without me,” Ava said, sliding off the stool and quickly making her way to the bathrooms at the back of the bar. Locked in the stall, where it was a little quieter and cooler, Ava pulled out her phone and opened the messages, wishing there’d be something from Sara, but knowing there wasn’t as she hadn’t felt it vibrate. It was only nine o’clock and Sara would still be at the Heywood’s and Ava was obliged to stay at the bar until midnight at least. She swallowed hard and put her phone away. She could do this. She always did this, only she didn’t want to anymore.

…

As the film ended and the final shot panned up to the snowing sky, Sara sniffed and blinked back a few tears.

“You ok?” Amaya asked gently, stroking Marie’s hair. Both children had fallen asleep long before the end of the film, but Sara and Amaya had continued watching anyway. The fire had died down, but the room retained it’s warmth, and the glowing embers gave off a soft light which echoed that of the Christmas tree lights.

Sara gave a sad smile. “Thank-you. Guess I needed this more than I realised.”

“Watching _The Polar Express_?”

“I haven’t watched any Christmas films since Laurel died,” Sara said, unfolding her legs and stretching.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Amaya said, aware of Sara’s family history. “Well, I hope you enjoyed it.”

Sara nodded. “I’ve seen it a few times before. We saw it in the cinema as teenagers and Laurel loved it. I hope you don’t mind me saying, but I kind of wish Ava had been here too.”

“No problem at all,” Amaya said with a kind smile and a knowing glint in her eye.

It took Sara a moment to understand Amaya’s expression, and she blushed when she did. “Oh, I - I didn’t mean - I…”

“Hey, if you think Nate and I hadn’t noticed, well, we noticed.”

Sara grimaced. “Please don’t say anything,” she said, not willing to deny anything any longer, especially given the rapport she’d developed with Nate and Amaya.

“You’re secret’s safe with me,” Amaya said. “I’d never do anything to hurt or upset Ava. I’m guessing whatever is going on right now was her idea, and I have to say I get where she’s coming from. You’ve probably noticed that the family is far from easy going. There’s a lot of expectations on the kids, and not a lot of room for variation or imagination.”

“Yeah,” Sara sighed. “Ava had said that they’re fairly traditional and conservative, but I didn’t realise quite how much. And I didn’t know that she was - wasn’t…” Sara took a deep breath. It wasn’t her place to out Ava to Amaya, even if it she had figured out what was going on. “Do you think they’ll take it ok? The aunties and uncles and other associated hangers-on?”

“I honestly can’t answer that,” Amaya said. “But whatever happens, Nate and I are on your side. You’re not alone. Ava is not alone. Any time you want to talk, about the family or anything or just watch kiddie films with someone, let me know.”

“Thanks,” Sara said, looking back at the TV while the credits rolled on. “Really.”

“You are most welcome,” Amaya said. “Whatever the deal is with you and Ava, she seems happiest when she’s with you and - if you need an ally in this family, someone who’s already been the outsider in this really weird clique, well, you got one in me.”

“Thank-you,” Sara said. “I’m not really the hugging type, but I’d probably give you a hug if you weren’t a bit stuck under a small child.”

Amaya chuckled. “I’ll give you a big hug tomorrow.”

“I’ll be expecting it. Guess I better head on back to the Sharpe’s now,” Sara said. “I think it’s late enough that I can just go up to bed. It’s a bit weird that the whole family lives on the same street, right?”

Amaya laughed. “Just a little, yeah. And a heads-up that school-friends catch-up night usually goes until pretty late, so I wouldn’t wait up.”

“Thanks,” Sara said, putting the soft throw blanket aside, standing up and stretching further. “I’ll message Ava when I get back. See you some time tomorrow. You right with the kids?”

“Yeah, fine,” Amaya said. “I’ll carry Marie upstairs in a minute, then come back for Henry. He’d probably be quite happy if I just left him there in his nest of blankets all night, but I’d rather he didn’t go about telling everyone he slept on the floor at Grandma’s house.”

Shortly afterwards, Sara found herself back at the Sharpe’s house. Pamela, Randy and Rich were watching home renovation shows on TV, with plenty of their own additional commentary. Sara gave a wave of acknowledgement before quickly heading upstairs. She didn’t know if the Palmers were there, but had no intention of interrupting. Closing her bedroom door behind her, Sara wished more than any night yet at the Sharpe household that Ava was there. She longed to be wrapped in Ava’s arms, to feel safe and secure in her embrace. It wasn’t like Sara to feel needy and sad, but she was missing Laurel a lot more than she thought she might, and without Ava around, it made the feeling of loss all the more acute.

**Sara** : Home now. Had a good time with Amaya and the kids 🎄🚂❄️  
 **Sara:** Do you know what time you’ll be home?  
 **Sara:** Hope you’re having a good time 💕

Sara never messaged Ava about her feelings, finding it hard enough to talk about in person, especially when she just wanted some pity and a hug. Being something Sara seldom brought up, Ava would assume that something dreadful had happened, and Sara didn’t want her to panic. Sara put her phone on the charger and jumped in the shower, hoping that when she was done there would be a message from Ava. No messages came. She brushed her teeth, washed her face, and decided to braid her hair, knowing that Ava liked it crimped. Before climbing into bed, Sara pushed aside many of throw pillows which decorated it, keeping the softest faux-fur one to hug as she turned off the lights and climbed in.

**Sara:** Going to sleep now. Goodnight 😘🌜  
 **Sara:** It’s kind of weird being in bed without you! 🙃  
 **Sara:** xxx


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you so much everyone for all the comments and kudos, it's really appreciated and I'm very glad so many people are enjoying this story 😊🎄❤️

When Sara awoke, she immediately checked her phone and saw a message from Ava, sent at 12:24am:

 **Ava:** Home at last. Glad you had fun with Amaya. Sleep well. xx

Sara didn’t bother replying, instead getting dressed and going downstairs for breakfast, leaving her hair braided even though it was falling out. She didn’t know if Pamela would have woken Ava, but was quite certain that she didn’t want to get caught going into Ava’s room. The feelings of longing and loneliness were less acute than they had been the night before, and Sara was almost looking forward to volunteering for anything Pamela needed to be done in order to distract herself.

“Good morning, Sara, darling,” Pamela said when Sara entered the kitchen. “We’re just having very simple breakfast this morning. Toast or cereal or both if you’re hungry. And I’ve got the coffee ready.”

“Morning. Great, thanks,” Sara said, setting about putting some toast on and pouring herself a coffee, while Pam and Randy chattered away about various articles in the newspaper.

“Do you have any special festive favourites you like to bake, Sara?” Pamela asked.

“I’m not much of a cook,” Sara said, not paying enough attention to know how the conversation had shifted to baking. “I’m more suited to helping with the washing up.”

“Hear, hear!” said Randy, making Sara smile.

“Not a worry at all,” Pamela said. “I’ll let Ava sleep for a little while longer because I know that she, Gary and Nathaniel will have had a big night last night, but then I really would love for her to bake some of her delicious snickerdoodles. I’m a little surprised she didn’t bring any, but she must be very busy at work. Having nice fresh cookies for her little bookclub meeting this morning will be nice, and of course any that are left over we can serve at the party this evening.”

“Right,” said Sara, sipping her coffee while she waited for the toaster, not having known about plans for bookclub. She returned to her room as soon as she’d finished breakfast, and as there was still no sign of Ava, Sara sent a quick message to Charlie asking if it was ok to call, before brushing her teeth. Her phone soon pinged, and Sara couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed to see a message from Charlie rather than Ava.

 **Charlie:** Yep, me and Z are up. Call when you’re ready 👍

Sara contemplated messaging Ava to see if she was awake, but decided against it, not knowing exactly what she wanted to say. Pretending everything was ok wasn’t fair on herself, but she also didn’t want to burden Ava, making her feel like it was her fault that Sara had felt so miserable last night. Sara picked up her phone and called Charlie.

“Sara Lance! How’s it going at the madhouse?” Charlie asked as she answered the phone.

“Well, all the inmates are here now,” Sara said. “How was the show last night?”

Sara listened while Charlie talked excitedly about _Come From Away_ and the fantastic evening she and Zari had had. Sara could picture the Christmas lights in Metropolis, and she knew of all the good, cheap dumpling places in Chinatown which were best to visit before going to the theatre. She could picture herself and Ava walking slowly back to the station to get the train home, passing the stunning seasonal window displays and getting a steaming hot cup of mulled wine from one of the street vendors. It was easy to romanticise anywhere and anything that wasn’t here.

“And what about you?” Charlie asked. “Something’s up, or you wouldn’t be calling this early.”

Sara sighed. “I - last night I hung out with Amaya, that’s Nate’s wife, and their kids, and it was pretty great. Amaya is lovely, and if you ever need a doppelgänger, she’s your person. But I - after watching _The Polar Express_ and coming back to the Sharpe’s house and Ava still being out with her school friends, I - I was really missing Laurel. I know that grief is weird and even when you think everything is good and you’re ok sometimes it still sneaks up and punches you in the gut, and it did that to me last night and… I just really need Ava and I don’t know how to tell her that because she is clearly terrified right now and trying to deal with her crazy family and pretend everything is normal and fine but we’re not normal and it’s not fine,” Sara finished, almost in tears.

“Oh, hell, Sara,” Charlie breathed. “Are - asking if you’re ok seems a bit redundant, but…?”

“I’m ok,” Sara said, composing herself. “I’ve felt worse, and I’ve had breakfast, and I am coming good. But I’ve never felt so lonely while being under the same roof as Ava,” she confessed.

“Let me talk to Z, yeah?” Charlie said. “You all right if I tell her what’s going on?”

“Yes,” Sara replied. Even though she’d been able to open up a little bit to Amaya last night, it wasn’t the same as talking to her close friends or Ava. There was too much explaining Sara felt she would need to do, and as lovely as Amaya was, she was still a relative stranger.

“Ok. Well, I don’t know what a helpful thing to say right now is, but… I’ll get back to you later, yeah?”

“Ok,” Sara said. “I do feel a bit better just having off-loaded this onto you, though.”

“No worries,” Charlie said. “You ever need anything, all you gotta do is call.”

…

When Ava awoke, she was disappointed not to see a message from Sara. She got up and dressed, and walked down to the other end of the hallway. Sara’s bedroom door was closed and Ava was about to knock, when she heard Sara talking on the phone. Ava exhaled and her shoulders drooped. She wished she could go into Sara’s room and curl up in her arms, letting Sara talk about anything she wanted to while Ava closed her eyes and pretended they were anywhere else. Instead, Sara was talking to someone else, and not wanting to be rude or to be caught standing outside of Sara’s door, Ava dragged herself downstairs.

“Morning, mom,” Ava said, trying to sound cheerful.

“Good morning, sleepy-head!” Pamela said. “I’m glad you’re up because as soon as you’re done, I can pack up the breakfast things and start on the cooking. Will you be making some snickerdoodles?”

“Umm, sure,” Ava said, finding her favourite tea from her mother’s selection. “We’re doing bookclub at about 10:30. Mona will come over. I’m guessing the Palmers are here somewhere?”

“You just missed them, they went out for a walk about five minutes ago. Raymond looked like he had a bundle of blankets strapped to his chest in the baby carrier, little Daniel was that rugged up. But it’s good to get some air, especially for little ones, even when it is this cold. Your father should be back from his run shortly. Rich has gone over to the Heywood’s; I think he’s taking Patty and the boys out for brunch. Sara was down a little while ago. She must be doing her hair. Do you think she brought something to wear other than jeans for the party?”

“Yeah, she’s got something nice,” Ava said, putting some toast on.

“And how was last night?” Pamela asked. “I didn’t want to wake you because I had no idea what time you got in. I’m sure it was wonderful. Marion messaged me earlier saying that Gary was still asleep too. Such a big night for you all. So much fun catching up with everyone.”

“Yeah,” Ava said.

“What’s wrong, honey? Did something happen? You seem very flat this morning.”

“Still just waking up,” Ava replied, glad it wasn’t a total lie. “I’m not used to staying out even remotely late anymore. After some breakfast I’ll be right.”

“Well, time will fly by this morning, honey, especially if you want to make some cookies before your little bookclub party.”

“They are good fresh out of the oven,” Ava said, thinking of Sara waiting impatiently for the snickerdoodles she had made a few days ago to cool so she could start eating them.

Pamela was right that morning sped by. Ava was busy baking when Sara came downstairs, her hair softly crimped. Ava smiled. “I like your hair,” she said.

“Thanks,” Sara said. “How was last night?”

Ava was about to answer honestly when her father entered, quickly followed by her mother who started filling the sink to wash the dishes while her dad set about clearing the newspapers and collecting all his things which he had lying around, iPad, glasses, pens.

“It was fine,” Ava said to Sara.

“Good,” said Sara, able to tell that Ava had more she wanted to say, but her parents’ appearance made that impossible. “Late return?”

“Yeah. And you had a good night?”

“Yeah,” Sara said. “We had fun. Henry fell asleep on the floor in a nest he’d made out of throw blankets and pillows.”

“That’s cute,” said Ava. “He would have liked that.”

Sara was quickly seconded by Pamela to help with a myriad of not kitchen-based last minute jobs while Ava continued with her baking. Ava had only just taken the snickerdoodles out of the oven when Mona arrived at the door. Pamela let her in, then disappeared to the large basement to iron the napery or whatever other chores she was inventing, allowing the girls to have the ground floor to themselves for bookclub.

“Merry Bookclub Christmas!” Mona exclaimed, a gift bag slung over one arm and holding a platter of hedgehog slice, decorated with red and green M&Ms, in the other.

“Hi Mona,” Ava said, hoping her smile looked more real than it felt. “Merry Bookclub Christmas.”

“Is Nora around?”

“Yeah, she was just trying to get Daniel down for his morning sleep.”

“Oh, he’s not joining us?”

“You’ll get to see plenty of him at the party later on,” Ava said. “Come on, let’s go into the study. Mom’s pretty much barricaded off the living room for anything but preparations for tonight.”

Ava picked up the plate of snickerdoodles and led the way into the study, which was more lightly decorated than most of the other rooms downstairs, but it still had a distinctively festive feel with the miniature Christmas tree on the sideboard and the lights around the bookcase. Ava’s gifts for Mona and Nora were sitting on the desk, and while they waited for Nora, Ava and Mona returned to the kitchen to make the coffee, Mona happily chatting away and needing little encouragement to keep talking.

“Hi, Mona! Merry Bookclub Christmas!” Nora said, entering the kitchen, and putting down the two beautifully wrapped books she was carrying. “Ooh, I can smell freshly brewing coffee.”

“Hey, Nora!” Mona said, giving Nora a hug. “You got Daniel off to sleep?”

“I’d say we have about 88 minutes before he wakes up. Ray’s sitting on the bed with his laptop looking at emails and whatever, but when Daniel wakes from his morning sleep he likes to be fed, and that’s not an activity that Ray can help with.”

As they relocated to the study, Nora happily answered Mona’s questions about the slow process of weaning Daniel onto solid foods. Ava wondered if the other two noticed how quiet she was. She usually loved bookclub, but now she could hardly concentrate.

“We want to get started?” Nora asked, after they’d settled into the armchairs in the study, looking at the three neat piles of books.

Mona grabbed a snickerdoodle. “Oh, these are so good. And they’re still warm! Who’s going first?”

“You go first,” Ava said, sipping her coffee.

“Ok,” Mona said excitedly. “So, I’ve gone for a classic. A real, proper classic, but knowing you two, you’ve probably never actually read it, though I hope you’ve seen the film and BBC series adaptations. I rewatched the film on the plane on the way back from visiting mom and dad earlier in the year, then that made me want to re-read the book which I did, and here you go,” Mona said, handing Ava and Nora their gifts.

Ava torn the wrapping paper off to find the Clothbound Classics edition of _Pride and Prejudice._

“Well, you’re right that I haven’t read it!” Nora said. “But don’t worry, I have seen the film. Thanks, Mona this’ll be great.”

“Same,” said Ava, wondering if Sara had ever read _Pride and Prejudice._ Mona’s bookclub gift last year had been _Circe_ , which Ava had enjoyed the first half of, but had been somewhat disappointed by the very heteronormative second half. Sara had, however, greatly enjoyed the whole thing, teasing Ava that in her mind Odysseus looked just like Oliver Queen. Ava remembered laughing and pretending to gag at the comment, which had only made Sara tease her more, though she did eventually admit to understanding why Ava didn’t love the ending.

Nora shared her selection next, _The Writer’s Map: An Atlas of Imaginary Lands._ “Daniel is going to be raised on a healthy diet of science and high-fantasy,” she smiled as Ava and Mona flicked through the beautiful illustrations and various maps of fictional places. Ava tried to listen attentively as Mona and Nora discussed their favourite books with maps, many which Mona mentioned Nora confirmed were in the book, but her mind kept wandering. Had Sara seemed rather formal this morning, or was it just because her parents had been around? Why hadn’t Sara replied to her text last night? It was probably because now they could talk in person, but something felt strained. Ava tried to push the thought aside, sure she was just being neurotic.

“Ok, Ava, your turn!” Mona said, looking at the last two gifts sitting on the desk.

Ava handed her gifts to her friends. “It’s something we’re all in need of I assume,” she said. “A good, long vacation.”

“Oooh. I have read _Women and Power_ about four times this year,” Mona said as she and Nora tore the wrappings off. “It might have been small, but it packs a punch. This year’s is a bit heftier.”

“Jane Austen and French bike-based food travels, nice variety,” Nora smiled, opening up Ava’s selection of _One More Croissant For the Road_ and flicking through the pages. “Oh, nice, there’s recipes in here too,” she said. “I can already see Ray wanting to try those out. Thanks, Ava, this’ll be great.”

“I hope you like it,” Ava said. “It’ll make you want to travel, that’s for sure.” She didn’t add how Sara had read the book first, and insisted that Ava read it. The book had been like a ray of sunshine, and had seen Sara and Ava loosely planning their own vacation around France to go on one day.

“This looks like such a sunny book, and you’re right about the recipes,” Mona said. “Wow, I’m so excited to get into these. Thanks, girls!”

“Thank-you for this slice,” Nora said, taking another piece of Mona’s hedgehog slice. “And the books, of course.”

They fell into easy conversation, though Ava felt as though another person had filled her body as she chattered happily with her friends, hoping they wouldn’t notice that she didn’t really feel herself. Time flew by as the coffee, cookies and slice disappeared, and soon Nora’s phone pinged.

“That’s Ray. Daniel’s awake and is trying to attach himself to Ray, which is not going to work. Sorry to have to break the party up, ladies,” Nora said, standing up and collecting her books.

“Oh, that’s ok,” Mona said. “Babies aren’t known for being patient. This has been so much fun! I love you guys.”

“Yeah,” Ava said, standing up. “It has been good.”

Nora opened the door. “Uh oh, I can hear Daniel crying from here. I better go. I’ll catch you at the party later on.”

“Ok. Oh, hi Gary!” Mona said as they exited the study and found Gary looking in the coat closet.

“Hi Mona. Oh, and Nora and Ava.”

“Have you lost something, Gary?” Ava asked.

“My phone,” Gary said. “I definitely brought it over here, because I was showing Aunty Pam and Sara some photos of Jean-Pascale which Jessica sent in the Green Family Chat last night, but now I don’t know where I’ve put it.”

“I need to go feed Daniel, but I’m sure it will turn up,” Nora said, glad to have an excuse to disappear. “Thanks again for bookclub, girls. This is a great little haul to get into.”

“You’re welcome,” Mona said as Nora went upstairs with a wave and a smile. “All right, Gary, we’ll help you find your phone, won’t we, Ava?”

“I, umm - Gary, do you know where Sara is?” Ava asked. “Or my mom or dad?”

“Sara came upstairs with me just before,” Gary said. “But I don’t know if she went back to the basement with Aunty Pam, or went outside to help Uncle Randy or - ”

“Ok, never mind,” Ava said. “I - I should probably clean up the study. Mom won’t like us leaving a mess.”

“Oh, of course,” Gary said.

“Come on, Gary,” Mona said as Ava disappeared back into the study. “Your phone can’t have gone far.”

“Is Ava ok?” Gary asked quietly. “She seems a little prickly, and she was last night too. It’s Christmas Eve! You guys just had bookclub and I need to know all about your choices.”

“I’ll tell you all about it, but now that you mention it, something does seem off,” Mona agreed, lowering her voice as she looked back towards the study. “You’re right, Gary. Something is definitely up with Ava Sharpe.”


	7. Chapter 7

While Gary scoured the living room, Mona entered the kitchen and spotted the black iPhone sitting on the bench. “Oh, Gary,” she mumbled to herself, shaking her head as she picked it up. “Did you even look?”

As she walked out into the hallway, Mona looked down at the lock-screen and instead of seeing the photo of Gary Jr II in a sweet checkered bow-tie, there was a picture of Ava in a lacy maroon cocktail dress, very cutely posed at the bottom of a staircase.

“Oh,” Mona said, her eyes widening and as she looked up from the screen, she saw Sara coming down the stairs. “Oh, umm, Sara, I - I think you let this in the kitchen,” she said, her heart pounding.

“Ah, ha! I thought I left it down here. Thanks, Mona,” Sara said with a smile, taking the phone and heading back upstairs.

“No worries,” Mona said, her voice sounding higher than usual, and she hurried into the living room to find Gary. “Gary! Gary!”

“Did you find my phone?” Gary asked, poking his head up from behind the couch.

“Why are you looking down there? Oh, never mind. No, but I found Sara’s phone,” Mona whispered.

“Had Sara lost her phone too?”

“No, she just left it in the kitchen.”

“Why are you whispering?” Gary asked, standing up and coming out from behind the couch.

“Because she has Ava has her lock screen picture!”

Gary gasped.

“And she’s looking very hot all made-up and in a cocktail dress!” Mona exclaimed in an excited whisper.

Gary gasped again. “Do you think she’s Ava’s stalker?” he whispered.

“What? No! Gary, keep up. What do you have as your lock screen?”

“That super adorable picture of Gary Junior II in a bow-tie,” Gary answered.

“And what do I have?”

“Umm…?”

“A photo of my whole family at my grandparent’s 60th wedding anniversary at the beach at the end of our street in Hawaii. Everyone has their favourite people, places or things, Gary.”

“So you do think Sara is Ava’s stalker?”

“No! I think they’re girlfriends!”

Gary gasped, a huge smile on his face. “That makes so much sense!”

“Of course it does,” Mona said. “But clearly for whatever reason they don’t want people to know. So you can’t mention it, ok? That Ava is Sara’s lock-screen photo I mean. Besides, I’m only speculating and it would be mortifying to get something like this wrong.”

“My lips are sealed,” Gary said, miming zipping his lips shut. “Please will you call my phone again incase it’s on vibrate in this room and we hear it?”

“Of course,” Mona said, pulling her phone out of her pocket.

“Also when I was in London for a few days after visiting Jessica and Sebastien and baby Jean-Pascale in Switzerland a couple of months ago, I kissed a really cute English guy in a bar.”

“Oh, ok - wait, what?” Mona exclaimed, almost dropping her phone.

“Shhh,” Gary said, looking around for any relations who were likely to interrupt at less than ideal times. “We’d both had a couple of drinks and he kinda looked like Sting and said he was a wizard…”

“Just because you were in London doesn’t mean that wizards are real. _Harry Potter_ is a made-up story, Gary! Your phone is ringing, but I can’t hear anything in the room. When were you going to tell me about this wizard?”

“Just now?” Gary said, looking guilty. “What I’m saying is that I definitely won’t tell Ava’s secret, because I have one too.”

…

Sara pocketed her phone, internally kicking herself for leaving it lying around, sure Mona had seen the lock-screen, but was too diplomatic to say anything. Sara wondered how much it mattered, as it seemed that half of Ava’s family and associated hangers-on were onto them anyway. She noticed that Ava was in her room,and was glad to be able to catch her after bookclub.

“So what’s the haul this year?” Sara asked with a smile, pushing the door shut.

“ _Pride and Prejudice_ from Mona, and this book about fictional maps from Nora that you’ll probably love,” Ava said, still feel tense as she handed the books to Sara.

“I read _Pride and Prejudice_ way back in senior year,” Sara said, flicking through the books. “I don’t think I understood much, but I loved it anyway. It’ll be good to revisit.”

“I’ve never read it, and only watched the film because you made me because you were feeling unwell and just wanted to cuddle.”

“Sometimes romantic, historical British dramas and cuddling your girlfriend are the best cure to any ailment,” Sara said with a small smile, wishing she could tell Ava how much she’d like a cuddle now. She was feeling better than she had been the night before and even earlier that morning. Physical activities like carrying firewood around with Randy oddly helped to lift her spirits. And from the looks of things, Ava was in need of a hug and a bit of down-time too.

Ava nodded and smiled sadly. “I wouldn’t mind watching a film with you right now.”

“You totally missed out last night,” Sara said, placing the books on Ava’s bed, almost disappointed that her speculation about Ava had been right. “Amaya and I had a great time, and the kids are so cute. Henry fell asleep on the floor, like I said earlier. Marie actually lasted longer than he did, but in the end fell asleep in Amaya’s lap. Is there - I mean, I know there’s heaps to do, but - maybe we could hide for a bit and watch something now? Maybe _Return to Cranford_? Because it’s Christmassy and has Tom Hiddleston and Jodie Whittaker and Michelle Dockery all dressed up in historical costumes?”

Ava stepped closer to Sara and put her hands on Sara’s waist. They had watched the series of _Cranford_ earlier in the month, and had been meaning to watch the specials at Christmas. “That sounds like a wonderful idea.”

“Or the first episode of _Great Expectations_? That’s got Gillian Anderson and Vanessa Kirby,” Sara suggested with a small smirk, resting her hands on Ava’s arms, while knowing exactly how close her hips were to Ava’s.

“We might save that until we’re back at home and can binge-watch the whole thing. Also we’re going to need to discuss this historical costume fetish of yours.”

Sara laughed. “Let’s wait til we’re home for that one too. Want me to go get my iPad?” she asked, her eyes sparkling.

“I - ”

“Ava, honey!” Pamela called from the bottom of the stairs. “Where did you put the sausage rolls?”

“In the fridge in the basement,” Ava called back, letting go of Sara.

“I moved them to the kitchen, to make room for the ham,” Randy called from somewhere else.

“I just looked in the kitchen and I didn’t see them,” Pamela called.

Ava took a deep breath. “They’re in the blue Tupperware.”

“They’re where?”

“The blue - never mind, I’m coming,” Ava called, looking regretfully at Sara. “Sorry,” she said quietly.

“What time do the guests arrive?” Sara asked.

Ava shrugged. “The Greens and Heywoods will all come about four, I guess? Then everyone else shows up after that? The arrivals are fairly casual. Food will be served intermittently so if you see something you like, get some before it’s gone. The actual White Elephant game will start as close to 7 o’clock as mom can manage, but it usually ends up being closer to eight.”

“Ava!” Pamela called again.

“Coming, mom!”

“Go,” Sara said. “I better go decide on what to wear. And what are we doing for lunch?”

“Lunch is a case of find what you can that isn’t designated for the party. Did you bring a dress?”

“Babe, please. It’s not the university ball.”

“Right,” Ava said, knowing that Sara would happily dress-up in a gown for official formal occasions such as the university ball, but refused to wear them for almost any other reason. “Dress-pants and a blouse?”

“That I do have,” Sara said. “Now go, before your mom comes looking for us.”

…

Marion and Gary Green arrived at exactly four o’clock, bringing their White Elephant gifts, bottles of drink, and a couple of platters of food. Ava greeted them, dressed in a new, dark green lacy cocktail dress her parents had given her as a Christmas gift. Her hair was out in long loose curls, and she wore her favourite pair of art-deco style clip-on earring which Sara had given her for her birthday.

“Peter will be over in a few minutes,” Marion said as she and Gary removed their coats. “There was some issue with the hot water unit he wanted to fix before he came over.”

“I can help!” Ray offered with genuine enthusiasm.

“Go,” Nora said patting him on the back, knowing that Ray would be a nuisance if he wasn’t allowed.

“Gary, go with him, will you?”

Ray, Gary and Peter arrived ten minutes later, Ray and Peter chatting about various measures which could easily be taken to make hot water units more efficient.

Everyone staying at the Heywood house arrived not long afterwards, and Amaya greeted Sara with a big hug. Once everyone was settled and had a glass of their beverage of choice to drink, all the children were given a small gift to keep them occupied for the evening. Daniel was given a Rattle’n’Roll Car, Marie received Elsa’s Tea Party Duplo, and the Batcave Duplo was given to Henry. Chris and Tyson each received an iTunes gift card, but Tyson immediately started whining, as he didn’t have his own phone, Patty’s iPad was at the Heywood house which she wouldn’t let him go and get, and she wouldn’t give him her phone.

“You just have to share with Chris,” Patty said.

“But Chris won’t share!” Tyson complained.

“Well, I pay his bills, so he will because I said so,” Patty asserted. “And if he doesn’t, I’ll confiscate it and you can both sit there bored all night.”

Nate and Ray helped the children get the Duplo out of the boxes and set them up on a small table in the corner, Marie in particular being very impressed with the Elsa figurine.

“Henry’s almost outgrown Duplo,” Amaya said quietly to Sara while Nate and Ray helped the kids to get started with their sets, looking as excited to play with the blocks as the children. “But it’s best he has the same thing as Marie at the moment. I think next Christmas he will have moved onto to big Lego.”

“Laurel and I had a Duplo Zoo set,” Sara said wistfully. “We played with that for years. I think my dad still has it in a box somewhere.”

“It never wears out,” Amaya said. “Santa brought the kids a big animal set last year. One time we thought Marie had swallowed one of the penguins, but it was just under the couch.”

Sara laughed.

“The Heywood’s still have all of Nate’s Lego,” Amaya looked at her children playing with their father and Ray. “Marie’s getting the _Frozen_ Duplo Castle from Santa. If you think she looked excited now, she is going to be over the moon in the morning.”

Sara smiled and sipped her drink, still not having decided what she was going to do on Christmas morning.

From five o’clock, the non-family members began arriving. Ava busied herself playing cards with Grandma Violet to try and avoid talking to people as much as possible, while Sara ended up wandering around with various platters of food. Watching her girlfriend offering the food around and talking to all these people she’d never met as though she’d known them for years made Ava feel even more conflicted.

“Ava, your turn,” Violet said.

Ava looked at her cards, not sure which move to make. She played her cards and looked around the room. Nora and Mona were sitting on the couch chatting happily while Mona bounced Daniel on her knee. Ray was talking with Gary, Uncle Peter and a couple of other men Ava vaguely knew. Chris and Tyson were squeezed together in a recliner chair, eyes fixed on whatever game they were playing Chris’s phone. Her father was making sure everyone had a drink, and that that drink was constantly topped-up. Uncle Hank and Rich looked like they were discussing something serious over by the Christmas tree. More extended relations and other people Ava had met over the years milled about in little groups. Dorothy, Marion and her mother would all be in the kitchen, pretending they were worked off their feet, when in fact they were completely in their element. They all loved entertaining.

“Earth to Ava Sharpe,” Violet chuckled.

Ava looked back at Violet. “Sorry, I - I’m a bit distracted.”

“I can tell, dear,” Violet said. “Do you need to go and talk to that distraction?”

“What?”

“It’s my hip that needs replacing, dear. My eyesight and brain function are quite good for a woman of my age,” Violet said with a wink.

Ava felt heat rising up her neck.

“I used to love going to watch the girls play baseball way back when,” Violet said. “I never played myself, but I knew some of them. Some of those girls were true straight hitters, but others - well, I think some men were annoyed those girls would eternally strike them out.”

Ava opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She swallowed and took a sip of her drink. “I - yeah, I need to…” Ava put her cards down and stood up. “I’ll ask Gary if he wants to play, ok? Or - or someone else.”

“Ava, dear, you do what you need to do. I will be quite all right.”

Ava nodded and taking her drink, hurried out of the hot, cramped living room. Without thinking, she made for the stairs, and headed straight for her bedroom. She swung the door closed behind herself, but it was met with resistance. Ava opened it again to see what the matter was, only to find Sara standing on the other side.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you so much everyone for the response on the previous chapter. It means so much to me knowing that so many people are enjoying this story 😊❤️ For those familiar with the film, you'll know roughly where the story is up to, and that we're very much in the third act now, though this is where the most changes will be made. I'll be posting the final couple of chapters over the coming days, with the final one on Dec 23/24 (timezone dependent!). Seems like Grandma Violet got everyone's vote for MVP in the previous chapter! 🤶🎄

“I’m not sure I’ve had the chance to tell you how nice you look this evening,” Sara said, smiling kindly as she stood in Ava’s doorway.

Ava wondered if Sara could hear how loud her heart was pounding, and put her drink down on the dresser to be sure she wouldn’t drop it.

“I don’t think Patty was too impressed when I kind of shoved the tray of mini-pies at her, but when I saw you get up from the card table, I - ” Sara took a deep breath. “Talk to me, babe. Please.”

Ava nodded and Sara stepped into Ava’s room, closing the door behind herself. The closed door helped to block out a lot of the noise from the party, and Ava began to feel a little calmer and couldn’t help but wish that she and Sara could stay up here alone for the rest of the night.

“I’m sorry my mom made you into a waitress this evening,” Ava apologised, the butterflies in her stomach slowly settling. “Since we got here, pretty much all you’ve done is chores for my parents and - ”

“I needed that,” Sara said, cutting Ava off. “Today I needed that. I needed to be busy. And at a party where you hardly know anyone, it’s easier to be the person with the food. It makes for an easy conversation starter, and an easy excuse to move on.”

“Yeah, I - what - why did you need it today?” Ava asked, a sudden feeling of dread creeping over her.

Sara gave a small shrug. “Last night I did have a good time with Amaya and the kids, but that was the first Christmas film I’ve watched since Laurel died, and I - I wanted you,” Sara confessed. “I wanted you to be there, watching it with me. Guess I didn’t realise how much it would effect me beforehand, but when the film ended, I - I did talk to Amaya. And I thought I was ok, but when I came back here and I was all alone and…” Sara paused and sighed. “You know it doesn’t effect me often. You know I’m pretty good at all of this. But last night I needed you and I didn’t feel that I could tell you what was really going on.”

Ava opened and closed her mouth, feeling close to heartbroken, as though she had abandoned Sara. “I’m so sorry,” she breathed.

“Hey, it’s ok,” Sara said, stepping forward and taking Ava’s hands. “I’m ok.”

“It’s not ok,” Ava said, unable to meet Sara’s eye.

“Ava, I - being busy today, feeling helpful, you know that helps me. You know that makes me feel better. I don’t blame you for not being there. You have your life too. I just wanted you to know that that’s what I was… how I felt last night.”

“Last night I wanted to message you and ask you to come and get me,” Ava said quietly. “Like a little kid calling their parents, because they don’t want to be at the party anymore.”

“Why didn’t you?” Sara asked.

Tears prickled Ava’s eyes. “Because then people would talk. They’d ask questions. And I - I don’t know what to do, Sara.”

“You need to tell them, babe,” Sara said, gently squeezing Ava’s hands, knowing this was about more than just Ava having wanted to leave the previous night’s function early.

“I know, I just - I…” Ava pulled her hands out of Sara’s and sat down on the bed. “I’ve felt awful almost the whole time since we arrived. I feel like I’m hiding me, and hiding you, which is worse because I love you and I - I love them too and I know my family are weird and some of them aren’t even very nice and…”

“Hey, no one gets to choose their family, and much less the family of their partner,” Sara said. “I come with a dead sister, divorced parents, and practically no extended relations at all. Sure, your lot are a bit weird, but, on the whole, they’re not bad people, babe. In fact, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but more than one of them have noticed that we, well, we’re not that subtle…”

“What? Who?” Ava asked, looking up at Sara.

“Nate and Amaya for certain. Pretty sure Ray and Nora are onto us. Gary said something just before which makes me think he knows.”

“Grandma Violet just said something about women’s baseball which sounded… maybe she also… you know…”

“See?” Sara said with a small smile.

Ava looked at the floor. “But why would you want to put up with all of this? What if I can’t do it, Sara?” she asked, choking up. “Because I can’t lose them. I can’t. They’re my family and I need them, but I love you and you - you could have anyone. If you were with some guy this wouldn’t even be an issue. You could have any other woman and…”

Sara knelt down in front of Ava and placed her hands on Ava’s thighs. “I don’t want other women,” she said, feeling a little hurt than Ava would even suggest she might want anyone else, but doing her best not to show it. Cupping Ava’s face, Sara kissed her on the lips. “Ava, look at me.”

Ava opened her eyes and looked at Sara.

“I love you, ok? I want to be with you. Only you. And even if I was with a dude, and I’m surprised you were able to suggest it without gagging, I’d still be bi. And if I felt that I was in a situation where I couldn’t check out girls as well, well that - that’s never going to happen, is it? Because you are my final girl.”

Ava nodded, swallowed hard and dabbed at her eyes. “I’m going to smudge my mascara.”

Sara chuckled and stood up to get Ava a tissue. “Whatever happens, I am always on your side,” Sara said as Ava gently wiped her eyes. “It’s ok to be scared. This is a big deal. But you’re not doing it alone, and you’re not going to be alone.”

Ava sniffed and nodded.

Sara sat down on Ava’s lap and wrapped her arms around Ava’s neck.

“I’m not very brave,” Ava said, resting her head against Sara’s shoulder and holding Sara around the waist.

“Yes you are,” Sara said. “I think you’re wonderful.”

“You’re very good at pep-talks.”

Sara chuckled. “I am completely winging this.”

“Well, you’re still very good at it.”

“I love you,” Sara said, tucking a strand of Ava’s hair back behind her ear.

“I love you more,” Ava said, pulling Sara closer and kissing her forcefully on the lips.

Neither of them were quite sure how long they stayed like that, holding onto one another, letting out days of pent-up passion, but also all too aware that a certain amount of restraint was still required. They didn’t hear anyone approaching Ava’s room or the door-handle turn until the door creaked as it opened.

“Hey, Ava, Aunty Pam said that - oh. Ooooh. Oh. Umm. Sorry. Sorry, I - I’ll just - umm. Hi, Sara,” Nate said, trying to avert his eyes as he blushed furiously. “I’ll, umm - wait outside.”

“Nate, wait!” Ava called as she and Sara disentangled themselves and stood up, all of her anxiety returning in a flash.

Nate turned back. Sara grabbed hold of Ava’s hand.

Nate smiled. “Ava Sharpe. Good on you.”

“What?” Ava asked.

“Oh, come on. Amaya and I figured that you guys were a little more than ‘roommates’ days ago. Besides, doesn’t your townhouse only have one bedroom? I know there’s the study, but you’d be lucky to fit a single bed in that.”

Ava swallowed, her eyes wide.

“Ok, you guys need to talk this out,” Sara said, looking between Ava and Nate, confident that Nate would take good care of Ava. “Babe, I will be downstairs, helping your mom serve food or your dad make drinks or whatever.” She gave Ava’s hand a final squeeze before letting go and blowing a kiss to Ava across the room before she left the bedroom.

…

The Christmas Eve party was, in the opinion of Pamela Sharpe, off to a wonderful start, and if she was at all disappointed or frustrated that Ava, Ava’s little friend Sara and now Nathaniel had disappeared off somewhere, she certainly didn’t show it. The house was full with her nearest and dearest, good friends, old acquaintances, those she vaguely know, and the usual number of new partners and friends who had yet to be introduced. When Charlie and Zari entered, Pam put them into this latter category, assuming they were the respective girlfriends of the sons of one of her many friends.

“Hello, girls. Welcome,” Pamela said.

“Hi. You must be Pam. I’m Zari,” Zari said, stepping forward and holding out her hand.

“Are you Ava’s little friend called Zari? Or do I have you mixed up with someone else?” Pamela asked, shaking Zari’s hand.

“No, that’s me,” Zari smiled. “I have to say, I love your house and the lights you have outside are fabulous. Oh my goodness, look at the Christmas tree in there. Have you seen the latest copy of _House and Garden_? I hope it doesn’t sound strange, but your place looks like it could easily be the cover property.”

“Oh, really?” Pamela said with a little laugh, flattered by Ava’s little friend but wishing that Ava could have let her know that more of her friends would be joining them. “Do you work in design?”

“Sort of,” Zari said. “I’m an engineer. I love your nails, by the way.”

“Thank-you,” Pamela said, glad that someone had noticed. “Your’s are beautiful too. That is a lovely shade of gold.”

“Isn’t it? Some golds look so tacky, but I’m lucky to have a wonderful nail technician who knows just the right colours to match to my skin tone. Is there another tree in there? It is beautiful. You have to show me more of the house.”

“Absolutely,” Pamela said, warming to Zari very quickly. “I’m sorry I don’t know where Ava has ended up, but she can’t be far.”

Zari glanced back at Charlie, and Charlie knew what to do. Zari could talk to Pam all night if needed to. It was up to Charlie to find Sara, figure out exactly what was going on, and get Sara and Ava out of there if that was deemed the best idea. She looked around to see if she could easily spot Sara, or this doppelgänger she supposedly had.

“What are you doing here?” a voice hissed.

Charlie turned towards the voice with a grin. “Sara Lance!” 

“Charlie, what the hell?” Sara asked, shoving a wine-glass into Charlie’s hand while dragging her up the hallway towards the back of the house where it was a little quieter.

“Z’s here too,” Charlie explained. “You just missed her. She hit it off with Pamela straight away and they disappeared somewhere. Nice place the Sharpe’s have got. So, everything ok, or you wanna get out of here?”

“What?”

“Well, after your call this morning, I spoke to Z and we decided that it sounded like you might be in need of a French exit,” Charlie said, sipping her drink and casually leaning against the doorframe. “Nice tipple.”

“Charlie, I had a shitty night last night, that’s all. I - how did you even get the address?”

“Never mind about that,” Charlie said. “Because this morning you didn’t sound that ok, and right now, you’re looking pretty stressed.”

Sara took a deep breath, trying not to let her exasperation at the whole situation get the better of her. “Nate caught us,” she said.

“What?” Charlie asked. “Wait, is he the racist uncle?”

“No, that’s Uncle Rich,” Sara said. “Nate is Ava’s favourite cousin. They’re talking now.”

“I need a map with photos and bios to keep up with who’s who,” Charlie said.“Can you smooth-talk your way out of it?”

“I was sitting in her lap and we were making out,” Sara said.

“Right. So no talking your way out, then.”

“Nope,” Sara said. “I just hope Ava’s ok. She needs to talk to Nate, and she needs to do it alone.”

“You think she’ll come out?”

“To Nate? Yes. To the whole family? No idea. And if she chooses not to… I don’t blame her.”

Charlie nodded. “This lot does seem kinda weird.”

“Talking about weird, what are you wearing?” Sara asked, looking Charlie up and down, and needing a change of topic.

Charlie laughed. “Zari made me wear one of her dresses and a not-ripped pair of stockings. Something about me fitting in with the straight, rich, white Americans, but since I am none of those things, it’s not really working, is it?”

“No, not really,” Sara said, taking in the full effect of Charlie in Zari’s neat dress and tights, but her own usual boots, jacket and jewellery.

“So, you really wanna stay?” Charlie asked, sipping her drink.

“I’m not leaving Ava. If she wants to go, we’ll go together.”

Charlie smiled. “Good on you, doc. I’ve always known Ava was good for you.”

Sara smiled, feeling self-conscious. “Come on, let’s go rescue Zari from Pam. Or Pam from Zari, depending on how it’s going.”


	9. Chapter 9

Nate stood at the door for a few moments after Sara had left, a little unsure of what exactly he was supposed to say before gently closing it. He crossed the room and sat on the bed beside Ava.

“So, you and Sara, huh?” he said, unable to hide his smile.

Ava tried to say something, but couldn’t find the words. She nodded instead, avoiding Nate’s eye.

“How long have you been together?”

“Since Halloween last year,” Ava said, the words almost sticking in her throat. There was no point denying their relationship, besides, Ava didn’t want to hide anymore.

“So you’re pretty serious, then?” Nate asked with a small smirk.

“We stayed at her dad’s for Thanksgiving.”

“I thought you were in Star City?”

“I was. But I was with Sara and her dad, and met some of her old friends over there. Definitely not a work thing,” Ava said with a sheepish smile, glancing up at Nate.

“Ava Sharpe!” Nate grinned. “Who knew you were the one with all the exciting secrets in this family.”

“You’re not… worried? Or upset or…?”

“No,” Nate said. “If anything, I’m annoyed at myself for… I don’t know - you thinking you couldn’t tell me about this sooner or whatever. But that is on me, not you.”

Ava swallowed, trying not to pick at her fingers. “I really like her, Nate. A lot. And I meant to tell everyone the truth, but…” Ava sighed. “It’s hard,” she muttered, looking back at the floor.

Nate nodded. “To be honest though, you guys are a little obvious. And last night Sara kind of admitted you were together to Amaya.”

“I know. Sara told me. I don’t know how to describe this, Nate. It’s so hard, and I’m so worried I’m going to lose the family and…”

“You’ve always got me and Amaya. And the kids, of course.”

“And I don’t want to ruin the party and Christmas and…”

“Ava, you’re not going to ‘ruin Christmas’ by coming out,” Nate said, bumping Ava’s shoulder. “I promise that this family has had more screwed up holidays than whatever worst case scenario is going through your head right now.”

Ava felt uncertain.

“Hey, remember that Christmas that old uncle John, god rest his soul, almost killed Gary because he put the car into drive instead of reverse?” Nate said. “If your dad hadn’t grabbed Gary under the arms and all but tossed him out of the way, we’d be one cousin short.”

“Gary was about nine years old and built like a stick-figure,” Ava said, recalling the Christmas. Gary had put on someone else’s gumboots, which were too large for him, in order to go outside to say goodbye, so when her father had grabbed him, Gary had seemed more concerned about losing one of his boots than getting hit by the car.

“Exactly,” Nate said. “We all remember that Christmas and laugh about it because no one died. And remember that Fourth of July when we had that big party at the Greens’ aunt Stacy’s place at the beach? And I vomited the whole way home because I’d spent the whole day stuffing myself with prawns and ice-cream?”

“You were seven years old.”

“Yes I was.”

“And it was about a hundred degrees.”

“Yep! But my point is that we remember those holidays. All the rest just blur together. Sure, they weren’t great at the time, but now they’re part of our family story, they’re something we laugh about and tell again and again. My kids think the one about me getting sick is hilarious, and I didn’t touch shellfish again until I started dating Amaya. This will be one of those stories, Ava. And that is ok, ok?”

Ava nodded, though she was still not entirely sure.

“Now, bring it in,” Nate said, holding out his arms. “Sara’s not the only one getting hugs from you.”

…

Ava wasn’t quite sure how, but somehow Nate eventually encouraged her to go back downstairs. If she didn’t do this now with the tiny spark of confidence she had, Ava was worried that she never would. The sounds of the party grew louder as she went down the stairs, but Nate was right behind her, his presence acting as silence encouragement.

“Oh, good, Ava! I was wondering where you’d gotten to. And Nathaniel,” Pamela said as Ava and Nate entered the kitchen.

Ava looked around and noticed that most of her family seemed to be there. Amaya and Nora were putting together a plate of food for the children, Ray stood nearby, rocking Daniel back and forwards in his arms, trying to get him to sleep, though Daniel was eagerly looking around with wide eyes at everything going on. Randy was poking about in the fridge with Uncle Rich leaning over his shoulder. Her mother and aunts Dorothy and Marion were fussing over the food, Grandma Violet was making a cup of tea, Gary and Mona were lurking, no doubt awaiting instructions for the next task needing to be done, while Uncle Peter looked to be generally getting in the way.

“Hey, mom, I - ”Ava started before her mother cut her off.

“I’ll be one second, honey, then I’ll give you the platter and - ”

“No, mom, I - ”

“We’re about to start with the gifts and - ”

“I’m gay and Sara is my girlfriend and I love her very much and maybe one day I’d like to marry her,” Ava said, the words all coming out at once.

The whole kitchen went silent. Laughter, music and general chatter could still be heard from the rest of the house, button a sound came from those in the kitchen. Ava looked around, her eyes falling on Sara standing in the doorway on the far side of the kitchen, with Charlie and Zari behind her. Ava swallowed hard, ready to run away.

“W - what? Really, Ava, honey?” Pamela asked, breaking the silence. “I mean - that’s all well and good, I’m sure, but your timing has a lot to be desired. We are about to play White Elephant, and…”

Ava felt her heart sink.

Randy stepped forward and took Pamela’s hand, giving it a pat. “We were already running behind, Pamela, dear,” he said. “A few more minutes won’t hurt.”

Nate looked at Amaya, who nodded. “Amaya and I support Ava,” Nate said. “Unequivocally.”

“Oh,” said Dorothy.

“Yes,” smiled Grandma Violet. “Very good, Ava, dear.”

“Really, mom?” said Rich, rolling his eyes.

“Of course,” Violet said. “Ava is very happy with that pretty West Coast girl. That’s more than can be said for others.”

Ava’s heart was pounding so loudly she could hardly hear what anyone was saying.

“I’m with Ava too,” Gary said, from the other side of the kitchen. “Obviously I am. When I was in London I kissed a wizard named John Constantine and we’ve been DM-ing one another on Instagram.”

“No way!” Charlie grinned. “You snogged Johnno?”

“Now, what is DM-ing a slang term for?” Grandma Violet asked.

“You - you know John?” Gary asked Charlie.

“Direct Messaging, Grandma,” Nate said. “Like text messages.”

“Oh. Why isn’t it called that, then?”

“When did Gary go to London?” Rich asked.

“Yeah, me and Johnno go way back!” Charlie said. “You know he’s not a real wizard, right? He’s actually got some miserable job in insurance or something, but knows a few neat tricks to pick folks up.”

“Back in September after he visited Jessica,” Marion said. “Gary, does Jessica know?’

“Oh, I know about John, and yes mom, Jessie knows,” Gary said, feeling giddy. “But you have to admit his tricks are pretty neat,” he giggled, turning back to Charlie.

While everyone had turned they attention to Gary, Sara had quietly crossed the room to stand beside Ava, slipping her hand into Ava’s. Ava looked down at their hands then lifted her gaze to Sara’s face. Sara smiled, her bright blue eyes sparkling. Ava swallowed back tears. There’d be no sneaking around tonight; they’d be sleeping in Ava’s bed with their arms around one another. Ava managed a tight smile and Sara squeezed her hand as if to say _everything is going to be ok._

Pamela told herself that if Ava was a sapphic and Gary enjoyed the company of some English gentleman, well that was a bit of a surprise, though if she was completely honest with herself, it was hardly shocking, but now was not a very convenient time to bring it up, and she hoped it wouldn’t derail the party. Charlie was having a lot of fun interrogating Gary in regards to everything to do with John. Zari had struck up conversation with Dorothy, naturally starting by complimenting her hair.

“Time for Operation Sleeptime?” Amaya whispered as she passed Nate, carrying a plate for snacks for the children. The kitchen had now erupted into about six different conversations, and Amaya could see how stressed Ava looked.

“Go time,” Nate replied.

Ava wasn’t sure if she was floating or falling, and the only really real thing she was aware of was Sara’s hand in hers. She didn’t know whether she wanted to kiss or kick Gary for coming out as well, she had no idea when, how, or why Zari and Charlie were there, and wished more than ever that she could be anywhere else. The room was too bright, too hot, too noisy. Ava could only catch snippets of conversation.

“Mom, she’s not even your real granddaughter,” Rich said louder than necessary to a comment Ava hadn’t heard.

“I decide who I am grandmother to Richard, thank-you very much,” Violet said, ready to take on anyone who spoke against Ava or Gary.

Ava squeezed Sara’s hand to keep hold of that one real thing. Some people had already stepped out, no doubt already spreading the word about what had just happened. Her mother was trying to usher everyone into the living room to start the White Elephant game, more or less acting like nothing had happened. She’d always been good at not being bothered by things she didn’t want to be troubled by, Ava thought. Grandma Violet had very much put Uncle Rich in his place, and was now chatting amicably with Charlie. Zari was in conversation with Mona and Nora, and Ava had the strange thought that Zari might like bookclub.

“Darling, drink this,” Randy said, handing Ava a tall glass filled with a clear liquid and half a dozen ice cubes.

Ava looked sceptically at her father.

“It’s just water and ice, darling,” he said kindly.

“Thanks,” Ava said, letting go of Sara’s hand to take the slippery cold glass. She drank deeply, letting the cold fluids run down.

“I have to admit to being a little surprised,” Randy said, not quite able to meet her eye. “But Sara, you are a very helpful and very nice person, and you seem to mean an awful lot to Ava.”

“She takes very good care of me, dad,” Ava said.

Randy nodded. “Good. If you’re happy, then your mother and I will be happy. Right, well, I better go make sure everyone’s drinks are topped up before your mother gets the game rolling. No one likes a slack host.”

Sara and Ava watched Randy go. Ava took another sip of the water. “I think - I think dad’s going to be ok,” she said.

Sara smiled. “Yeah. I’ve figured your folks have a funny way of saying things, but I get that feeling too. Come on, let’s go find a seat somewhere for this game,” she said.

Ava finished her water and set the glass down in the sink before taking Sara’s hand. “Sorry my hand is cold. And kind of damp.”

“It’s fine,” Sara smiled. They stepped out into the hallway, and slowly made their way towards the living room, Ava waiting for a barrage of comments and possibly criticism. She gripped Sara’s hand, as though she was afraid she would somehow lose or be separated from Sara if she let go.

“Aunty Ava, I want cuddles,” Marie said approaching Sara and Ava, dragging her feet and looking up at Ava before yawning widely.

Ava was about to send Marie to Nate or Amaya, when she caught Nate’s eye across the room and he winked. She glanced quickly at Sara, who smiled knowingly. Ava bobbed down to talk to Marie at her own height. “Maybe we could go and sit in the study?”

Marie nodded and Ava stood back up. She let go of Sara’s hand, lifted Marie up and carried her down the hall into the study, glancing back to mouth “thank-you” to Sara. For as long as Ava could remember, the study had always been the designated space for babies and small children who needed to go to bed during any party the Sharpe family hosted. The only lights in the study were those from the small Christmas tree and around the bookcase, as well as the light streaming through the open door. Daniel’s stroller was set against the wall beside the door, though Daniel himself refused to sleep and was still being passed around. Ava sat down in the armchair half-hidden behind the stroller, settling Marie in her lap.

“What have you got in your hand?” Ava asked, noticing that Marie’s hand was clenched around something.

“It’s Elsa!” Marie said, opening up her hand to reveal the Duplo Elsa figurine. “Olaf is helping Batman.”

“Oh,” Ava said, assuming that meant that Henry was playing with the Olaf figurine. “Well, Duplo Elsa is very good to hold onto.”

Marie nodded, snuggling closer to Ava. “Can I take my shoes off?”

“Yes. I can help you,” Ava said, undoing Marie’s shiny black patents shoes with one hand and wriggling them off her feet. “Is that better? Look at those nice red tights. Are your toes under here?” Ava asked, tickling Marie’s foot.

Marie giggled and tried to pull her feet away.

“You’re nice and warm,” Ava said, carefully kicking off her own patent court shoes.

“Because I’m in my tights and my Christmas dress,” Marie said.

“Yeah,” Ava said. “You look very pretty. I’m in my Christmas dress too.”

“And mommy.”

“Your mommy’s in her Christmas dress?”

Marie nodded, and looked at her Elsa figurine. “And Elsa.”

“Elsa always wears a nice dress, doesn’t she?”

“Yes,” Marie said, closing her eyes and resting her head against Ava’s shoulder. She soon settled, occasionally mumbling something Ava generally didn’t understand. Ava adjusted how she was holding Marie to make herself more comfortable.

Sitting in the study, nursing Marie in her arms while the party went on outside, Ava realised that she was calmer and happier than she had been since arriving at her parent’s house. She caught snatches of conversation and heard lots of laughter, oohs and aahs as the White Elephant game went on without her. Marie was the perfect excuse to sit the game out, and Ava had to admit that the game gave her anxiety and often left her feeling stressed and unhappy at the best of times.

“Ok, little bud - oh, hi Ava,” Ray whispered as he lowered Daniel into the stroller. “Don’t worry if he grizzles, I’ll be lurking just outside incase he starts to cry. Is Marie asleep?”

“I think so,” Ava said.

“I think Henry was starting to crash too, but he just had a big drink of Fanta, so he might be bouncing about for a little while yet.”

Ava nodded. “How’s the game going?”

“I think they’re about a third of the way through. Is it ok that Nate arranged for Charlie and Zari to take your turn?”

“Not at all,” Ava smiled.

“They’re good friends,” Ray said. “You and Sara - you’re very loved.”

Ava was glad she didn’t need to reply as Ray left the study, leaving Ava with the small children, as his comment left her all choked up. Ava felt warmth surge through her and she kissed Marie on the forehead. “Maybe one day you can be my flower girl,” she whispered with a smile. “I’d like that. Sara would too. We can even find you an Elsa-inspired dress. I think you’d like that.” Ava grinned at the thought, and surprised herself when she noticed that happy-tears had filled her eyes at the thought of all the things which had now become possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The examples Nate gives of crazy family holiday memories are straight from my own family, just with the required name changes and a few tiny detail tweaks 😅


	10. Chapter 10

Ava was more than happy to spend the remainder of the party in the study with Marie in her lap and Daniel in the stroller. Select friends and relations looked in every so often, but Ava was happy to be alone to destress and think about the past few days. Her mind ran through every interaction, every conversation, and every moment she had spent with Sara. In reflecting on the times when she and Sara had been around others, Ava began to realise why some of her family had been onto them. The looks, the little touches, the casual way they spoke to one another must have been made it much more obvious than Ava had realised at the time.

“Did you notice?” Ava whispered to the sleeping Marie. She smiled to herself. “I doubt you’d care. It’ll always be normal for you, now. Aunty Ava has a girlfriend, and that’s all you’ll ever know.”

The White Elephant game finished shortly after ten o’clock, but it was almost eleven before the guests started going home. Randy made sure that Ava always had a drink, Nate and Amaya, and Ray and Nora checked in on their respective children, Mona brought some snacks, and of course Sara came in for a little respite, very pleased with herself that her White Elephant gift of a top-shelf bottle of 18 Year Aged Johnnie Walker Whiskey was probably the most stolen gift of the night.

With every person who left, Ava felt a little calmer. A few, like Grandma Violet, made sure to pop in to say goodnight, but many seemed to have forgotten that Ava and the children were even there.

Nora soon took Daniel upstairs, and Nate and Amaya took their tired children home. During the party, Pamela had insisted that Charlie and Zari simply had to stay at the Sharpe’s house as there was no way they’d be able to find a hotel room at this hour on Christmas Eve and they were most certainly not driving all the way back to Metropolis. Plus there was a spare bedroom now that Sara would be moving into Ava’s room, of course. Zari surprised Charlie by announcing she had packed them an overnight bag and they were so grateful for the offer and would absolutely love to stay. Since Zari had quite won Pam over, there was no need for further discussion. Ava took the turn of events to be her mother’s way of accepting the whole situation, just as her father’s way was to keep up her drinks supply.

While her parents saw off the final guests, Ava helped to change the bedding in the now spare bedroom while Sara proudly moved all of her things into Ava’s room. Rich retired to his room and shut the door more loudly than necessary.

“He’s lucky he didn’t wake Daniel,” Nora said with her toothbrush hanging out of her mouth. “Otherwise guess who’s door we’d be walking past repeatedly until he settled again.”

Slowly the household wound down for the night. Downstairs was a mess, but Pamela decreed it could be dealt with in the morning. Everyone said their goodnights and quietly made their way to their respective rooms.

As Ava closed the door behind herself and Sara, she let out a shuddering sigh.

“Well, there we go,” Sara said.

Ava nodded and kicked off her shoes, almost too worn out to speak, and deciding that just like the mess downstairs, her shoes could be put away properly tomorrow.

Sara knew how Ava was feeling as she’d seen her like this before after busy week followed by a big night, and how best to support her, even though some highly specific details were different this time. “I am so proud of you, babe,” she said, wrapping her arms around Ava.

Ava rested her head on Sara’s shoulder and closed her eyes. “I’m tired and still kinda overwhelmed.”

Sara rubbed Ava’s back. “Wanna jump in the shower to freshen up? Then we can curl up in bed.”

“Together?”

“Obviously,” Sara smirked. “Save on water.”

Ava lifted her head and yawned. She looked into Sara’s deep, sparkling blue eyes and smiled. “Come on, then,” she said, taking Sara by the hand and leading her into the bathroom.

Not long afterwards, feeling clean, refreshed and comfortable in their pyjamas, Sara and Ava climbed into bed. Sara turned off the lamp on her side of the bed, leaving the lamp on Ava’s side giving a soft, golden glow to the room.

“Does this still feel like how you imagined boarding school to be?” Ava asked, settling down.

“No,” Sara smiled softly, watching Ava fiddle with the bedding. “This feels how Christmas Eve should. Quiet, peaceful, calm.”

“Christmas Eve here is never any of those things,” Ava said, turning off the lamp, allowing the cool darkness to settle on the room. A faint line of light shone under the door, and Ava could hear others still up and about. She cuddled into Sara and closed her eyes.

“You still want to go to Rome next year?” Sara asked, gently stroking Ava’s arm.

“Yes,” said Ava. “But I don’t think we’d be able to leave until the 23rd. We’d have to come here for a few nights first.”

Sara chuckled. “Naturally. Plus I’m sure your folks would want to take us to the airport.”

“Oh, definitely,” Ava agreed. “Maybe every third year or so we’ll be able to escape this chaos. But never the year my parents are hosting.”

“Of course not,” Sara said, able to imagine exactly what Pamela would say if they tried to escape the year she was due to host the White Elephant party. “You know, I had a pretty good time tonight. And I know I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, but I am so proud of you, babe.”

“Thank-you for tonight,” Ava said. “And for everything. Always.”

Sara wrapped her arms around Ava and kissed the crown of her head. “Always, babe. And Ava?” she asked, already planning the morning.

“Mmm?” Ava mumbled, already half asleep.

“Merry Christmas.”

…

The Sharpe household seemed eerily quiet on Christmas morning as the household slept in late. There was no opening and closing of doors, no one calling out or footsteps echoing up and down the hallway. Sara lay in bed, looking up at the ceiling, listening to Ava breath quietly beside her. After a while, Ava stirred and rolled over.

“Happy birthday,” Ava said with a smile, blinking as she opened her eyes.

“Merry Christmas,” Sara grinned, rolling onto her side to give Ava a peck.

“Merry Christmas to you too,” Ava said and yawned. “It’s quiet.”

“It’s weird.”

Ava smiled. “Do you know what the time is?”

“About eight?” Sara said.

“Been awake long?”

“Not really. I got up when I woke up to use the bathroom, and ended up washing my face, because even though I though I did it properly last night, I still had black eye make-up all around my eyes. To be honest, it’s kind of nice just to lie here.”

“It is,” Ava said, wrapping her arms around Sara and pulling her close. She pushed Sara’s hair aside with her nose and kissed her neck.

“Mmm, Ava,” Sara chuckled. “Is this part of my birthday present?”

“Or Christmas present. Having to get you everything at once is quite challenging.”

“Oh, really?” Sara asked. “Well, since it’s my birthday…” With ease, Sara disentangled herself from Ava’s arms, pushed Ava onto her back and swung legs over, so she was sitting straddling Ava’s hips.

Ava giggled. “But it’s your birthday!”

“Exactly,” Sara grinned, pulling the blankets up over her head to keep out the cold as she reached down towards Ava’s pyjama pants, hooking her thumbs under the waistband. “And I am right where I want to be.”

Some time later, and having guessed they were still the only ones awake, Sara and Ava got up, Ava wrapping herself in her fluffy dressing gown over her satin pyjamas, while Sara pulled an oversized hoodie on over her pyjamas. They went down to the kitchen, and while Ava made the coffee, Sara gathered the ingredients and utensils needed to make pancakes.

“Do you think upping the ratio to six-six-six would be enough for ten people?” Sara asked, not wanting to run out of mixture.

“Should be fine,” Ava said, pouring them each a mug of coffee.

Sara found half a dozen eggs, and whisked them together with six cups of milk, six cups of flour, and a good pinch of salt in a large bowl. The kitchen was far from the pristine condition it was usually in, with empty glasses and bottles lying around, unwashed plates and utensils, a few wrappers, used napkins and other pieces of rubbish scattered about. Sara was sure that by lunchtime Pamela would have the house in order. As she melted butter in the frypan and it gave a satisfying sizzle, she found it hard to believe that the night before this room had been crowded with the extended Sharpe-Heywood-Green family when Ava had finally come out. Sara sipped her coffee and looked at Ava who had started unpacking the dishwasher, prouder of her girlfriend than she knew how to express.

“Hey, babe?” Sara asked, scooping the first ladle-full of batter into the frypan.

“Yeah, babe?”

“You know what you said last night?”

“Mmm. Which bit?” Ava asked, putting away a couple of wine glasses. She’d said quite a lot, and now was worried that something had been wrong.

“The part about maybe getting married one day?”

Ava froze and paled. “Yeah…?” she said, her stomach in knots.

Sara flipped the pancake and reached into the pocket of her hoodie, having chosen this one specifically as the size hid the fact that she had hidden the ring box in the pocket. “Mind if I take you up on that?” Sara asked, her heart pounding but her hands thankfully not shaking.

Ava was glad she wasn’t holding anything as she looked at the little box in Sara’s hand. “I - is that…?”

“I’d kneel down, but the floor looks kinda sticky, and I spilt some flour.”

“Wh - Sara, I…”

“Ava Sharpe, will you marry me?” Sara asked, opening the box and revealing the ring inside.

Ava’s eyes widened. “I - oh my god, Sara! Yes! Oh my gosh, I - I love you so much.”

“I will kiss you in just a second, let me get this pancake out of the frypan and put the next one on,” Sara said, placing the ring box on the bench, flipping out the thin French-style pancake onto a plate, and adding more butter and batter. “Ok, come here,” she said, wrapping her arms around Ava’s neck and kissing her passionately. “Want to try the ring on?” Sara asked, pulling back only when the pancake needed flipping.

“Yes, please,” Ava said, unable to stop grinning and a little worried she was going to start crying happy-tears.

Sara took the ring out of the box and slid it onto Ava’s finger.

“It fits perfectly,” Ava said, surprised she wasn’t choking on her words while admiring the single emerald-cut diamond on the rounded platinum band. Even though the diamond was fairly large, there was something about it that was still subtle, and it was the perfect size for her hand. It was beautiful, but not ostentatious. Ava could hardly believe how perfect it was. Just like Sara.

“Yeah, well I ‘borrowed’ one of the rings that you wear on your right hand to take to the jeweller to get the size right,” Sara smiled. “You want this pancake?”

“Yes, please,” Ava said, feeling giddy as she closed the half-emptied dishwasher door. “Oh my gosh, we’re going to have to tell everyone as they get up.”

“Eh,” Sara shrugged casually, sliding the pancake onto a plate for Ava, who topped it with banana slices and toffee sauce. “No rush. We can tell those who absolutely need to know. My dad will probably FaceTime in an hour or so, so we can tell him then. I don’t even know what timezone mom is in, and I guess she’ll message me for my birthday-slash-Christmas. She might even surprise me and call. Everyone else can just figure it out by the shiny new ring on your hand.”

“I have to tell Nate and Amaya. And Mona. And take the obligatory photo to send to Grandma Violet. Mom make sure every sing other relation knows.”

“I had a feeling she’d have a strong phone tree,” Sara smiled, taking a bite of pancake.

Ava beamed, looking at the ring again. “But what about you, though? I don’t have a ring for you.”

“I don’t really need one,” Sara said. “I’m happy with just a plain wedding band.”

“No. As soon as we finish breakfast, I’m going online and finding something in the style I know you’ll like so I know exactly what to get after the holidays.”

“Really, babe, I…”

“Really, babe. I am buying you an engagement ring. I wonder if there’s any champagne left. Finish your coffee, then we’re turning this into a champagne breakfast.”

Sara grinned. “Have you finished that pancake yet? The next one is almost ready.”

“Just about,” Ava said, stuffing a forkful of pancake into her mouth. “I just want to go grab dad’s BlueTooth speaker so I can play some music. And mom will expect me to have turned all the Christmas lights on.”

“Ok,” Sara said, twirling the spatula. “Then this one is mine.”

Ava reappeared a minute later with the speaker. “The ring keeps distracting me while I try to set this up,” she said, beaming as she admired the ring before looking up at Sara. “It’s as wonderful as you are. Sara, I - I can’t thank you enough. For everything.”

Sara smiled. “I love you. Always.”

“I love you more,” Ava said as her phone finally connected to the speaker. She found a Christmas playlist and pressed shuffle. Within moments the Andy Williams classic “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” started playing. Ava laughed, going around the kitchen island and pulling Sara into her arms.

“What are you doing?” Sara laughed as they danced around the kitchen while the music played. “Babe, I know I just took the pancake out, but I’ve still got the heat on!”

“Ok,” Ava laughed, dancing Sara back behind the cooktop to turn off the heat before moving back into the more open space.

“ _It’s the hap-happiest season of all…_ ”

Ava twirled and dipped Sara.

“You’re right. That ring is very distracting,” Sara grinned, entwining her fingers with Ava’s and looking at the sparkling new ornament. “I think I can hear someone upstairs.”

“I bet they can smell the pancakes,” Ava said, glancing towards the hallway before turning back to Sara. “I’m very glad I’m marrying you, babe.”

Sara twirled Ava and pulled her in close, holding her around the waist and resting their foreheads together. “Not nearly as glad as I to be making you my wife, babe,” Sara said, grinning like a small child who had just received everything off their list from Santa.

_“…And hearts will be glowing when loved ones are near_

_It’s the most wonderful time of the year!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! 🎄🎄🎄
> 
> Thank-you so much everyone for reading this story, and all the comments and kudos, and especially to those who have been around all year reading my Avalance stories. Writing them has helped keep me happy and sane throughout this crazy year, and I hope they've brought you a bit of joy and escapism too. 
> 
> I hope you al have a very merry Christmas/festive season and best wishes for 2021 😊


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